


Dilemma

by princessalie72 (orphan_account)



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF, Pirates of the Caribbean RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-03-20 03:30:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 45,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3634968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/princessalie72
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lauren is torn between two guys. Johnny Depp and ELijah Wood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She was so tired. She slammed down on the couch and sighed. She had about fifteen minutes before she expected a call, to rest up. She laid her head back and closed her eyes. She sighed and picked her head back up. 

"DAMN" She yelled and stood up. 

She could still smell him on her. His cologne. The scent that was only him. It was the first thing....well the second thing she noticed about him when they had met at a club six months previously. 

She had been dancing with her friends when we she saw him across the floor. He had a cigarette in one hand and a drink in the other. But what struck her most was his whole aura, that mysterious kind of thing he had going on. Not to mention his hair and smile. He was just one fine specimen of man and to have come to her was a miracle. Plus he was, HIM. The HIM, or at least one of THE HIM's that she had been obsessing about for months. 

She smiled as she hopped into the shower to get ready for the rest of the evening. She let her mind wander to that night six months ago when she met him. 

~~flashback~~ 

"I need a drink in the worst way." Lauren yelled to her friend Amber, over the pulsating rhythms of JC Chasez's Blowin' Me Up (With Her Love). 

She turned to go get her usual rum and Coke and stopped dead in her tracks. She couldn't believe it. He was sitting at the bar. The exact bar she had to go up to get her drink. For the few seconds that she stood there looking at him, every picture that she had seen on the Internet and shared with her Orlando obsessed friends, ran through her mind. But none of them compared to the real life living breathing man sitting not ten feet from her. 

She looked down at her skirt and smoothed out some of the wrinkles. Adjusted her sequined halter top and gave herself a pep talk. 

'I can do this,' she thought to herself. She took a deep breath and made her way over to the empty seat next to him. 

"What can I get you?" The bartender asked her. 

Before she could answer, the man sitting next to her spoke. Deep and sultry. She shivered. 

"She is a rum and Coke gal, I would wager." 

Lauren turned to him and smiled. "How could you tell?" She asked trying to retain any ounce of composure. 

He shrugged. "Lucky guess really. It was either that or Slow Comfortable Screw. Maybe that comes later." He said with a wink. 

Lauren blushed clear down to her toes. "I.." 

"Don't worry. I am just teasing. By the way, my name is Johnny.." 

"Johnny Depp. I know." She said and held out her hand to be shaken by him. "Pleasure meeting you." 

He smiled, took her hand and kissed the top of it slowly. "Trust me. The pleasure is entirely mine." 

Their eyes locked for a few seconds, then Lauren broke away to see what her friend was doing. 

"I gotta get back." She motioned towards the table where they were sitting. 

"Ok." He smiled as she turned and walked to the table where her friend was sitting. 

As Lauren was walking away she cursed herself. She never gave him her name. There she was, with the undivided attention of Johnny Depp and she acted like a typical fan girl. 

She sat down across from Amber 

"Lauren, was that who I think it was?" Asked Amber who was wide eyed in shock. 

Lauren nodded her head up and down and turned to look at the bar. He was still sitting there. This time though, he raised his glass to her and winked. She quickly turned back around and smiled. 

"Damn girl. Why did you walk away from that?" Amber asked laughing. 

Lauren shrugged and played with the napkin under her now empty glass. Amber sat back and stretched her legs out. A slow song started and Lauren was glad for the drop in noise. 

She was about to ask Amber something when she saw her mouth opened wide and her glass stopped just short of her mouth. 

"Am.." 

She jumped when she heard the familiar voice in her ear. 

"Care to dance?" 

Lauren nodded her head and let Johnny lead her to the dance floor. Johnny pulled her up against him and she could smell his cologne. She closed her eyes and drank it in. She then realized what song was on, and blushed yet again. 

_You make me feel like a sticky pistil_  
Leaning into a stamen   
You make me feel like a mister sunshine   
Himself   
You make me feel like splendor in the grass   
While we're rollin'   
Damn skippy baby   
You make me feel like the amazon's runnin' between   
My thighs 

"You know your sexy when you blush." Johnny said smiling at her bent head. "But I do need to know something." 

She looked up at him and tried NOT to turn any redder than she was. "And that is?" 

"Your name. I want to know your name." 

She was about to tell him when he spun her around and crossed his arms in front of her and swayed back and forth. 

"But you can tell me after this song is done." He whispered into her ear making her shiver. 

She heard him give a small laugh. "Cold?" He asked, again by her ear. 

She shook her head. "Good." He said, this time taking a small nibble on her earlobe. 

_You make me feel love, love, love, love, love_  
Love, love, love, love, love   
You make me feel love, love, love, love, love   
Love, love, love, love 

 

She closed her eyes and let herself enjoy being in this mans arms. 

_You make me feel like a candy apple_  
Red and horny   
You make me feel like I wanna be a dumb blonde   
In a centerfold, the girl next door   
And I would open the door and   
I'd be all wet   
With my tits soaking through this tiny felt t - shirt   
That I'm wearing   
And you would open the door and tie   
Me up to the bed 

"Hmm..that sounds nice." Johnny said again and he turned her back around and pinned her arms behind her back. 

It took her a second to figure out what he meant and when she did she blushed again. He pulled her up and he smiled. 

"You need to stop making me blush." She said laughing. 

"Don't think so." He replied pulling her closer. 

_Lover, but I don't know who I am_  
Am I (?)   
Am I hot inside   
What would I place with your hot conscious   
Oh baby babe babe babe   
I will be your death, the moonlight   
Take your time 

"What I want to know is, if that sexy blush covers your whole body?" He asked as the song ended. 

Lauren just looked at him wide eyed. He winked at her. She turned to walk back to the table when he grabbed her arm. 

"Name. You promised me your name." 

She smiled. "Lauren. My name is Lauren." 

Johnny smiled and pulled her against him as a fast song started. 

"Thank you Lauren." 

He kissed her quickly on the lips, but it was enough to send her senses reeling. He pulled back, winked and walked back to the bar. 

She turned and slowly walked back to her table. 

"I'll be damned Lauren Hores." Amber said laughing. 

Lauren just smiled. She put her hand behind her to itch her lower back and she felt something in the waistband of her skirt. She pulled it out and looked at it. It was a piece of paper, She opened it and then dropped it on the table when she got done reading it. 

Amber grabbed it and read it. 

"Call me. Tonight. 555-4536. JD." 

Amber laughed. "Are you going to call him?" 

Lauren shrugged. 

"Wrong answer. Repeat after me..HELL YES!" 

Lauren laughed. "HELL YES!! 

Amber stopped a waiter on his way by. 

"Two rum and Cokes and make it fast. We have something to celebrate." 

~~end flashback~~ 

Lauren stepped out of the shower and put her hair up in a towel. She walked over to her closet and looked for what to wear. She sighed. 

"Maybe, I should just wait till he calls. See what he wants to do." She said to herself. 

She walked over to her bed and laid down. She sat up with a start when the phone rang. She took a deep breath and answered it. 

"Hello." 

She smiled when she heard his voice. 

"I had a busy day. A couple cameras broke. But other than that great." 

She stood up with the phone and went back to her closet. 

"How long will it take for you to get here?" 

She need to know how long she had to get ready. She turned and sat down on the edge of the bed. Grabbed the picture of her and Johnny. 

"Twenty minutes? Good. See you in a few Lij." 

She hung up the phone and pushed the picture under the bed. This was why she was so tired. Three months of this was starting to take it's toll. 

First when she met Johnny she thought all her dreams were coming true. Then three months ago, she met Elijah Wood. Dream life part two. 

She was starting to get the feeling that all hell was about to break loose.


	2. Chapter 2

Lauren decided that since Elijah sounded so tired on the phone that, they would stay in. Watch a couple movies and cuddle on the couch. She grabbed a pair of pink flannel pajama bottoms and a white tank top. She threw her hair into messy ponytail and went to the living room. 

She sat down on the couch and tried to relax. She had just got back from dinner and dancing with Johnny. He had to be back in NY for a week. She was glad that she didn't have to come up with an excuse to not see him for two days. Elijah had told her a week ago, that he was coming in for two days and wanted to spend them with her. 

Her traitorous heart leapt at the possibility. She sighed and looked to the mantel and debated weather to start a fire. Elijah loved nothing more than to relax in each others arms. He was a homebody. 

She stood up, thinking it would be good to have a fire and walked over to the fireplace. 

"!@#$." 

There was supposed to be a picture of her and Elijah sitting there. She had put it away before Johnny had picked her up. 

"Where did I put it?" She looked around her living room trying to remember where she stashed it. She snapped her fingers when she remembered. 

She walked over to an end table and pulled it out. She placed it on the mantel and smiled. It was of her and Elijah the first weekend they had met. 

She stared at the picture as her mind drifted back to that time. 

~~~flashback~~ 

Lauren and Amber were walking around Central Park taking pictures like the tourists they were. 

"I am so glad you got to come with me." Amber said linking her arm through Lauren's. 

Lauren smiled. "Of course. Why wouldn't I? We have had this weekend planned forever." 

Amber shrugged. "Well, with things between you and Mr. Depp heating up, I wasn't sure if he would let you go." 

Lauren grinned. "I wouldn't miss this for the world. After all, we want to stalk some of those members of LotR at TRL. I wouldn't miss a chance for some Elijah sightings." 

Amber looked at her watch. "Speaking of which, we had better get over to the MTV Studios if we are going to get any glimpses of anyone at all." 

Lauren stole a look at her watch. "Your right. Let's get going." 

They hailed a cab and made their way to the studio. They got there in enough time to be up front and they scored an invite into the studio. They hadn't expected that. 

Elijah, Orlando and Sean were promoting RotK and they were going be live. Amber was laughing at Lauren who had stopped in the bathroom and was frantically trying to put herself together. 

"Lauren, really. I think you are beautiful. Besides what are the chances of us coming in contact with any of them?" 

Lauren shrugged. "You never know." 

Amber laughed and dragged Lauren out of the bathroom to find some seats. They took some right up front and got settled in. 

The show started and Lauren couldn't sit still. 

"Lauren, I am going to cut your legs off if you don't sit still." Amber whispered to her. 

Lauren immediately ceased the movement of her legs. "Sorry." 

Carson Daily came turned to the camera when the commercial break was over. Lauren tuned pretty much everything he said, instead looking closely to where Elijah would be coming out. 

The screams of all the girls around her, indicated that the guys would be joining Carson. First was Orlando, which sent a steak of giddiness down her spine. Then Sean Astin. She stopped breathing all together when Elijah followed Sean from behind the curtain. 

The screams got louder as all three guys worked the crowd and shook as many hands as they could. To Amber and her's amazement is seemed as though that Elijah was making his way towards them. 

"Am.." 

"I know Lauren. Just remain calm." 

'Remain Calm. Right." She thought to herself. 

"Hello ladies." Elijah said holding out his hand for them to shake. Amber was a little faster, seeing as she wasn't as besotted as Lauren. 

"Nice to meet you Mr. Wood." 

"Same here." 

Elijah turned to get the other girl to shake his hand. Theirs eyes locked and time stood still. Amber looked from one to the other and back again. 

"Excuse..Mr. Wood..I think your friends are ready." 

Elijah and Lauren both blinked. He took her hand and shook it, all the while never breaking eye contact. 

"Nice to meet you." He said quietly, 

Lauren nodded her head. "Likewise." She whispered and she felt him squeeze her hand. 

Her hand felt cold as he broke contact and made his way to Orlando and Sean. 

"Earth to Lauren. Come in Lauren." Amber said waving her hand in front of her eyes. 

Lauren looked at Amber. "What?" 

Amber shook her head. "Nothing." 

All through the interview, Lauren's eyes never left Elijah. His eyes, so appealing in pictures, were downright deadly in person. Added to the fact that he had that scruff that would turn her insides out, she had no idea how she was still able to function. 

She was also aware that frequently he would turn those deadly blue eyes her way and make contact with her, which would send her heart skipping several beats. 

She had to stop this. She had a boyfriend. A very sexy,very attentive, very famous boyfriend. She had no business, lusting after some blue eyed god. 

After the show ended and they were able to get out of the studio, Lauren screamed. Amber put her hands over her ears and laughed. 

"Sorry. Fan girl moment." Lauren said laughing. 

"By all means. Fan girl away." Amber said shaking her head. 

Lauren sighed. "I feel like clubbing. Let's go dancing tonight. Johnny is going to call me around eight and after that let's go out." 

Amber nodded. "I would love that." 

~~~~ 

Lauren was in the bathtub when Johnny called so Amber brought the phone into her. 

"Lover boy for you." She said throwing the phone to Lauren. 

Lauren's eyes lit up like the forth of July. Amber smiled. She was so happy that things were working out for Lauren and Johnny. 

"John. Hey sweetie." Lauren said as Amber closed the door. 

Thirty minutes later, Lauren emerged from the bathroom all smiles. 

"I take it you had a good conversation with the hubby." 

Lauren laughed. "Always. Now are you ready to go out?" 

Amber shook her head. "Just let me get changed." 

Lauren went to her suitcase to find something to wear. She opted for a pair of Capri's, a fitted T-shirt that said Taken across the front. She pulled her hair back into a high ponytail and finished the outfit off with a pair of chunky sandals. 

By the time that they reached their club of choice, Lauren and Amber were hungry so they decided to hit the wing place across the street first. 

"OK I had no idea how hungry I was until now." Lauren said as she picked up a chicken wing. 

"I hear ya." Amber said between bites of her own food. 

~~End flashback~~ 

When he showed up the next morning when she was jogging, nothing could have surprised her more. Lauren sat back down and looked at her watch. He still had ten minutes or so to go. She closed her eyes and willed her tiredness to go away so she could enjoy her time with Lij. 

~~~~ 

Elijah picked up the bouquet of roses he had bought for Lauren and smelled them. They smelled good, but not as good as her. 

He smiled when he thought back to when they met. Three months ago. 

~~~flashback~~~ 

Elijah and Orlando had just got to the club, when he saw her go into the restaurant across the street. 

"Jesus, Bloom there she is." He said to his friend. 

"Who mate?" Orlando asked confused. 

"The girl. The beautiful girl from the front row at TRL today." Elijah told him. 

"Ahhh. Yes. The one you couldn't take your eyes off during the whole interview." Orlando said laughing. 

Elijah smiled. "Damn straight." 

He sighed. "I think I need some chicken wings." 

Orlando rolled his eyes. "Are you going to bloody stalk her now?" 

"I am just going to....investigate." Elijah said as he crossed the street. 

Orlando and him walked in and quietly sat behind them. 

Orlando leaned up and whispered. "This is the stupidest thing I have done, since not being a teenager any longer." 

Elijah smiled and leaned back trying to hear their conversation. 

"I am going to need to jog ten miles to get rid of these wings." 

"Let's jog in the morning. Through Central Park." 

"Are you nuts?" 

"Come on Am. It will be the two of us and we will jog when it's daylight. Like 8 or 9." 

"Oh alright. But that means that we can't be up all night here." 

"I know. I just want to dance a few songs then we can head back to the hotel." 

Elijah turned so that he could see her and her friend leaving. 

"Well, Orli. Seems that I am going to take up jogging." 

Orlando rolled his eyes again. "Bloody wonderful. Just don't ask me to go with you." 

"I won't." 

They stood up and headed towards the club. He would take the time to watch her. Just to memorize her face and body without interruption. As long as he could curb the desire to touch her, he would be ok. 

Orlando laughed as Elijah basically skipped into the club and headed for the VIP section. He ordered his drink and perched himself where he could get the best view of the girl of his dreams. 

~~~end flashback~~~ 

And girl of his dreams was the truth. He had never met anyone like Lauren before. She was beautiful, talented, and wonderful. 

The look on her face when he jogged passed her the next morning was priceless. She was so shocked her chin dropped to the ground. 

All he could do was go up to her, put his finger under her chin and close her mouth. He looked in her eyes and got lost. So quickly in fact, that he kissed her right then and there. 

After that they spent the entire weekend together. They had been together ever since. It has been the best three months of Elijah's life. He loved nothing more than sitting with her and talking. 

Elijah smiled. Well there was one thing more he enjoyed more than that, but they didn't get to participate in that activity too often because of their schedules. 

That was one thing he was looking forward to this weekend. Tonight would be catch up time. But tomorrow, he was going to seduce the hell out of her. He needed her. He wanted her. It had been to long. 

Elijah pulled into her driveway and shut the car off. He grabbed the flowers and his backpack and made his way up her sidewalk. Yes, this was going to be the best weekend. 

He was in love, and he was going to tell her so.


	3. Chapter 3

Lauren had just fallen asleep when the doorbell rang. She sat up and looked around, trying to focus. 

She shook her head and stood up and went to the door. She yawned and then opened it to see Elijah standing there with a huge bouquet of roses and a smile. 

"Lij." She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. 

Elijah smiled and stepped into her apartment. He had been away from her too long to let a kiss on the check appease him, but he had to set all of his stuff down first. He put everything on the couch and then grabbed her. 

"Missed you Ren." He pulled her into a kiss. A kiss that any other time would have curled her toes. This time it just made her feel more guilty. She stepped back and smiled up at Elijah hoping he didn't notice anything. 

"Missed you too Lij. Are you hungry? Want something to drink?" Lauren asked heading towards the kitchen and then stopping when his stomach growled loudly. 

"I take that as a yes?" She asked laughing. It felt good to laugh. 

Elijah winked. "Yea. You should." He replied also laughing and following her into the kitchen. 

"So what have you been doing for the last month? Work been good?" Elijah asked jumping up on the counter to watch her cook. It was one of the things he loved about her. About them. Normalcy. He could be trotting all over the world for movies and such but he could always come home and home was Lauren. They hadn't know each other long, but he would trust her with his life. More importantly, he would trust her with his heart. 

"Not much. I am working my ass off to get a promotion. I will know for sure next week." Lauren said as she handed him a sandwich and some chips. "Pepsi, coffee or water?" 

He smiled and set the plate next to him. He grabbed her hand and pulled her so that she was standing between his legs looking up at him. He locked his hands behind her back and kissed her forehead. 

"What was that for?" She asked trying to quell the onslaught of guilt that was washing over her. 

"Because I missed you so much. We haven't seen each other in a month. We have only talked a few times. I just need to hold you for a few. Is that Ok?" He asked smiling down at her. 

His smiled slipped as he saw a flicker of something in her eyes. But as fast as it was there it was gone and he convinced himself he was imagining things. 

Lauren tried to respond the way she was supposed to. They way she did two months ago. But she couldn't. As much as it hurt, she didn't love Elijah. Not the way he wanted her too. Yes, she was attracted to him. Who wouldn't be? But that was it. She loved Johnny and keeping up this charade was going to ruin that. She felt that her and Elijah were also the best of friends. She was going to ruin that as well. 

Lauren sighed and stepped back. "Lij you had better eat." 

Elijah grabbed his sandwich and took a bite, studying Lauren. Something was wrong with her. He could tell. Maybe she was just worried about them. After all it was hard enough to carry on relationship, without adding his line of work into the mix. After he ate they would sit down and have a talk. A very long talk. He loved her and he wanted to make sure she was secure in that. 

~~~~~~ 

Johnny Depp was trying to take a quick nap in his trailer before they started filming the next scene. Only problem was that he kept thinking about the week he had spent with Lauren. They always made a point to see each other at least once a week. Even if he could only fly to her place for one night. It was better than nothing, and he wanted this relationship to work. 

She got along with his kids. Hell, even his ex girlfriend, the mother of his children liked her. There was nothing to dislike about Lauren. 

He sat up and stretched. 'So much for a nap' he thought to himself. Even if the week they spent together was great, as anytime they spent together was, something was off. He couldn't put his finger on it, but there was just something wrong with her. He had wanted to talk to her about it, to see if everything was ok, but when he started asking questions, she decided to seduce him. 

He smiled as he stood up. He had to not think along those lines, else he wouldn't be able to get back to work anytime soon. He grabbed a cigaret and sat out on the little steps of his trailer and blew smoke into the night air. 

The more he thought about it, the more he figured she was getting nervous about their relationship. 

They had been dating six months, and this was about the time he started getting antsy in a relationship. He knew that she had surfed the net about him way before they had met. She admitted it on their first date, therefore she knew about his track record with women. Even the mother of his children had been an on again, off again relationship. 

It was different with Lauren. He had no desire to run. He didn't feel the least bit antsy or hemmed in. In fact, it was the opposite. He couldn't wait to get this movie done so he could take some time off and just be with her. He wanted to wake up in her arms every morning. Not just a few times a month. 

He wanted to take her all over the world and find the most exotic places to make love to her. He just wanted to be with her. In every way. For a lifetime. 

He took one long drag on his cigaret and finished it off. He looked at his watch. He still had a few minutes before he had to be back on the set. He stood up and grabbed his cell phone off the table. He needed to call Lauren. He needed to hear her voice. Hear that she was ok. 

~~~~~~ 

Elijah finished the sandwich and laid down on the couch. Lauren had gone into the bedroom for something when the phone rang, so he decided to take a quick nap. A ten minute snooze then they would talk. 

~~~ 

Lauren picked up the phone after the first ring and about fell over when she heard Johnny's voice on the other end. She kicked her bedroom door shut with her foot and sat on the edge of the bed. 

"Hey sexy." 

She closed her eyes and sighed. His voice was so deep and so raspy that she immediately wanted to kiss him senseless. 

"Johnny. I didn't expect a call from you tonight." She said quietly. 

She heard him laugh. "Why are you whispering? Got another man there?" 

She sucked in her breath. "Now why would I do that? When I have the best man in the world talking to me on the phone?" She closed her eyes and laid down on the bed. 

"That's what I was asking. I don't have a long time to talk, I just wanted to say hi. I am missing you something terrible right now." 

Lauren squeezed her eyes and some tears fell out. "I miss you too." Boy did she ever. What she wouldn't give to walk out in that living room and have Johnny sitting there instead of Elijah. 

"Maybe I can get a few days off next week. Filming is winding down." 

"That would be wonderful. Or Maybe I could come there for the rest of the filming? I have some vacation saved up." She sat back up and laid her feet on the floor. 

"I would love that." 

"Alright. Let me see what I can arrange on Monday. I will call and let you know what's up." She had already decided if they wouldn't give her the time off, she was going to quit. As soon as she settled things with Elijah, she wanted to get to Johnny as fast as she could. 

"OK. Good. Look I gotta go sweetie. I will try to call tomorrow sometime." 

"I will be here. Missing you." She told him. 

"God I miss you so much Lauren." 

"Ditto." Lauren replied crying and this time letting him hear it. 

"Baby, don't cry please. It breaks my heart. I know how hard this is, but after this movie I decided to take some time off. If you can get here next week, we need to talk." 

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Really?" 

"Yes really. But I can't talk anymore. Goodnight sweetie." 

"Night Johnny." 

She hung the phone up and sighed. She loved him and she had no idea why it was so hard to tell him that. Actually she did. The reason was sitting on the couch. She stood up and wiped the tears off her face. She had to figure out someway out of this, with the least amount of pain. For any of them. 

~~~~ 

Johnny threw his phone back onto the table and made a firm decision to find out what was wrong with Lauren. She definitely was not herself. 

He was going to tell her that he loved her, but decided to wait until they were face to face. He wanted to see the look on her face when he asked her to be his forever. 

~~~~~ 

Lauren walked out to the living room and stopped dead when she saw Elijah asleep on her couch. 'Poor baby is exhausted' She grabbed a blanket and laid it over him. His eyes opened and he pinned her with one of his looks. One of the looks she was powerless to fight. 

"Stay with me." He said quietly and pulled her next to him on the couch. "I sleep better when I am holding you." 

She closed her eyes and sighed. She wanted to cry. She was in love with another man, but she was thoroughly enjoying being held by this one. If there was one thing that Elijah could do, it was make her feel loved. Make her feel wanted. Make her feel safe. She felt safe in his arms. 

She sighed again and decided, for the time being, to enjoy those feelings. Because tomorrow, she was going to feel anything but loved. When she told Elijah it was over with them, things were going to change. She just knew they were. 

She opened her eyes when she felt his lips on hers. Then she felt his mouth on her ear. She should stop this. She needed to stop it, but for some reason she just couldn't. 

"Have I told you I love you, Ren?" Elijah said quietly in her ear. 

All she could do was shake her head. 

"Hmmm. OK. I love you Ren and tomorrow when I am not so tired, I am going to show you just how much." 

With that promise Elijah closed his eyes and held on to her tighter. She sighed. One of her saving graces was that maybe Elijah didn't love her, but she should have known better. Elijah was too wonderful to just want to be with her for sex. 

She knew that when he gave his heart, it would be for life. She had never felt so shitty in her life, as she did laying in his arms knowing that in the morning she as going to break the heart of the man holding her.


	4. Chapter 4

Elijah tried to sit up and realized that something or, as he looked down at her head, someone was holding him down. He kissed the top of her head and she moved slightly so that her face was showing. 

He kissed her cheek and she smiled in her sleep. He kissed by her ear and heard her small moan of pleasure. He took this as a good sign and continued his ministrations. He vaguely remembered telling her that he loved her last night. 

Now he wanted to show her. He rolled onto his side carefully and she fell to her back. She stirred slightly and he thought she would wake up. Thankfully, because of her weird hours, when she got to sleep in, she slept like a log and nothing short of an earth leveling event would wake her. 

He placed a quick kiss on her lips, and looked down at her. There was nothing he loved seeing more than Lauren sleeping. She was so beautiful. She was so angelic. It brought out the fiercest protective instincts in him. 

He placed small kisses on each of her eyes and she smiled again. He leaned down and teased her lips until she was participating. She might be sleeping still but that was part of the fun. 

~~~~ 

Lauren was having the best dream. She was slowly waking up, but she didn't want to ruin the sensations that were running through her body. 

She slowly opened her eyes and tried to clear her mind when someone whispered in her ear. 

"Ren baby. Wake up." 

She saw Elijah leaning over her and kissing her. Her eyes opened wider as she realized what had almost happened. She couldn't speak as looked up into the hypnotic blue eyes of the person that had been her lover for the past three months. 

So to him it would be nothing for a little morning love making session. And she would be lying to herself, if she said she didn't enjoy them. In fact on a physical level, she was thoroughly enjoying herself now. But on a much deeper level she was dieing. 

She loved someone else. She closed her eyes as she began to softly cry. 

~~~~~ 

Elijah felt more than saw her retreat. He was kissing her neck when he felt her stiffen. He picked his head up and looked down to see her crying. 

He sat up with her and pulled her onto his lap. At this she cried even harder. He rubbed her back and held her tight. 

"Ren, sweetie. Tell me what's wrong." 

He couldn't stand to see her hurting. He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. He had never seen anyone cry this hard. It scared him. A few tears escaped his eyes as he held her. 

~~~~~ 

Lauren couldn't stand it any longer. As much as she was enjoying being in Elijah's arms she couldn't live this way anymore. Then he had to go and be so damn..damn Elijah like. Any woman in her right mind would love this man who was holding her with every ounce of her being. 

But she wasn't in her right mind. Hell, she didn't even know what that meant anymore. She sat up and wiped the tears from her face. She looked at Elijah who was looking at her with water filled eyes. 

'Damn,' she thought to herself. He was crying now. She reached up and wiped them off of his cheek. 

"Lij, why are you crying?" 

"Ren..haven't you realized by now? When your hurting, I'm hurting. I love you sweetheart. More than I ever thought possible." 

Lauren sighed and stood up. She paced the living room floor and cursed the day she was born. 

"Ren..What is going on with you? I could tell last night something was off." Elijah asked worriedly. 

Lauren turned to face him and she let more tears fall. Elijah started to stand up but the look on her face and the hand held up stopped him. 

Suddenly he got very scared. 

"Ren what is going on?" This time he asked more forcefully. 

Lauren sat down on the coffee table in front of him and looked down at her hands. She had to do this. She looked up at him and saw that he had tears in his eyes yet again. She started to put her hand on his cheek and then stopped. 

At that the tears fell from his eyes. He was really scared now. He felt that his heart was going to break, because whatever was wrong with her had to do with him. With them and he couldn't bare to lose her. It would kill him. 

~~~~~ 

Johnny had just had first cigaret of the morning and was tapping the remains out in a metal ashtray on the table in his hotel room. He had to get to Lauren. Something was wrong. He couldn't sleep the night before because he was worried about her. She just wasn't herself on the phone and until he knew that everything was ok with her, he was no good to anyone. 

He rang the director and told him there was a family emergency and that he had to fly out as soon as possible. He was asked if it was one of the kids, Johnny reassured him it wasn't. The short of it was he had a week. They could film the stuff they were going to next week, which freed him up until next Monday. 

He grabbed his beat up duffel bag that he had practically since 21 Jump Street, it was his favorite and he couldn't apart with it, and ran out to the cab that was waiting for him. 

He had 10Am flight and he was not going to miss it. 

~~~~ 

Lauren still hadn't spoke. She just kept looking at him. Elijah didn't know what to do. They both jumped when the phone rang. 

Lauren stood up thankful for the momentary reprieve. 

"Hello?" 

~~~~~ 

"Hey babe." Johnny said as he called from the airport. 

"Johnny? Why in the hell are you calling me now?" 

Johnny was confused. She actually sounded pissed that he was calling. 

"I just thought you would like to know that I am flying to see you. My plane leaves at 10AM." 

Johnny bit his lip as nothing but silence met that statement. 

"I take it your not as happy about that prospect as I thought you would be?" Johnny asked a little worried. 

"Sorry John. I..Look I just woke up. Of course I am excited. Do you want me to pick you up at the airport?" 

Johnny smiled. Maybe she was just tired. 

"I would love it." 

"Ok then. What time does your flight come in?" 

Johnny gave her all the info she needed and hung up just as his flight was called. He need to get to her. Fast. 

~~~~~ 

Lauren hung up the phone and jumped when Elijah came to the doorway. 

"Who you picking up at the airport?" 

She turned and looked at him. She breathed in heavily. There was only one thing to do. Tell him and get it over with. 

"Lij. I'm..." She stopped and closed her eyes. She couldn't stop the tears that flowed again. 

Elijah sensed that this phone call had something to do with how she was acting. 

"Lij. I'm picking up my boyfriend. The boyfriend I have had for six months." 

There she said it. She told. Now she had to see where all this shit would land. Once it hit the fan.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Credit : How Am I Supposed To Live Without You~ MIcheal Bolton

Elijah stood there staring at her. Not moving. Barely breathing. He couldn't believe what he had just been told. He blinked twice not taking his eyes off of her. Her eyes told him everything. She didn't love him. She was in love with someone else. 

_I could hardly believe it_  
When I heard the news today  
I had to come and get it straight from you  
They said you were leavin'  
Someone swept you heart away  
From the look upon your face I see it's true  
So tell me all about it, tell me 'bout the plans you're makin'  
Then tell me one thing more before I go 

"Lij? Please....." 

He shook his head. He was not going to say a word, for fear of what might come out. His eyes filled up with tears and fell slowly down his face. 

Lauren didn't know what to say or do that could salvage any kind of relationship with him. She took a step towards him and he took a step back. At that moment she knew he hated her. AS much as he had loved her he hated her. 

Elijah couldn't be near her right at the moment. The only thing that seemed to matter was getting as far away from her as possible. For his sanity and her life. He turned and head back into the living room. 

He stopped just behind the couch and almost fell to the floor. How was he going to be able to go on? He turned when he heard come in behind him. She was crying now too. A thousand questions were running through his mind. 

_Tell me how am I supposed to live without you_  
Now that I've been lovin' you so long  
How am I supposed to live without you  
How am I supposed to carry on  
When all that I've been livin' for is gone 

He wiped the tears off his face with the back of his hand. 

"Ren. Why?" He asked softly. He could barley speak. It was like the life was sucked right out him. 

She didn't know how to answer him. She had asked herself the same question over and over the last three months. 

"Who is he? Who is this boyfriend that you neglected to tell me about?" As suddenly as he was hurt he was angry. 

She took another step towards him and again he stepped away from her. She started to speak when Elijah stopped her. 

"Never mind. I don't really want to know." He told as he put up his to stop her speaking. 

They stood there looking at each other. He didn't know what to do. Suddenly all the dreams he had built came crumbling down around him. All of them had surrounded Lauren and the life they would have together. 

"Lij..I am sorr.." 

"Damn you Lauren. Don't say your sorry. If you were sorry, you would have come clean months ago instead of letting me fall so in love with you that, you became my reason for getting up in the morning. For living life. You let me build up this dream world." 

He stopped. He needed to stop talking. He had his heart ripped out of his chest, his dreams crushed and he would be damned if she would take what was left of his pride. 

His shoulders slumped in defeat as he grabbed his bag off the table. He looked around for his jacket. 

_I didn't come here for cryin'_  
Didn't come here to breakdown  
It's just a dream of mine is coming to an end  
An how can I blame you  
When I built my world around  
The hope that someday we'd be so much more than friends  
And I don't wanna know the price I'm gonna pay for dreaming  
When even now it's more than I can take 

"Please Elijah. We need to talk." Lauren said as she walked up to him. "I do care for you Lij. I do. I was..." 

"You were what? Confused? Upset? What Lauren? What could you possibly say to justify having a boyfriend when we met and letting me think we had a future?" Elijah asked angry. 

_Tell me how am I supposed to live without you_  
Now that I've been lovin' you so long  
How am I supposed to live without you  
How am I supposed to carry on  
When all that I've been livin' for is gone 

He had every right to be pissed at her. She deserved everything he said to her. 

"Yes Lij. I was confused. I wasn't sure what...I was in a relationship that I wasn't sure in." 

His eyes widened. Lauren flinched. That had come out all wrong. 

"So you used me to...to...I have no idea what your could have been thinking." Elijah said running an exasperated hand through his hair. 

"Lij. Whatever you think about me you have to believe that I care about you. When we first met, I was attracted to you. I even wondered if I could love you. But, as much fun as we had together I could never love you the way you want me too." 

Lauren stopped to wipe the tears away the were running down her face. Everything she said seemed to make things worse. 

"Let me guess. I was a pillow partner for you. A very active, pillow partner, but that's just it." 

Lauren gaped at him. "No Elijah that is not true. I..." She shut her mouth. What could she say? 

"Lauren, when I was with you I was with you heart, soul and body. When we made love, that was it. LOVE. There is no way you can tell me that, with a boyfriend in the wings, you were with me in more than just body. If you loved someone else, I didn't have your heart or your soul. Just your body. I gave you everything I am. Everything that I was. I love you Ren." He finished softly. 

Lauren didn't know what to say. "I am sorry Elijah. I truly am." She was not going to say she hoped they would be friends someday. That would be wrong on all counts. 

Elijah turned and grabbed his jacket and headed to the door. Lauren didn't want him hating her. She tried to stop him. She grabbed his arm as he opened the door. 

"Lij. Stop. Please. We need to talk this out." 

He yanked his arm from her hand so hard that his jacket flew behind him. He just wanted to leave because he felt himself getting angry again. 

"Get the hell away from me Lauren. There is nothing left to say. You have a boyfriend that you SAY you love. Yet you slept with me. I think it's pretty safe to say that your boyfriend is lucky to have such a trustworthy, loving girlfriend as you." 

Lauren dropped her hand at his sarcastic statement and gapped at him. 

"Have a nice life Ren." 

He turned and shut the door behind him trying to get the image of her crying out of his mind. He got into his car and started it but he couldn't move. He couldn't think. He put his head in his hands and cried. 

~~~~~ 

Lauren stared at the door for a few seconds letting the tears fall freely. She turned to go back into the bedroom when she kicked something. 

She looked down and found a small box. She held it in her hand and started to shake. She slowly opened it and gasped. The she fell to the floor sitting with her knees bent. Sobs wracked her body as she continued to look at the contents of the box. 

"Lij was going to ask me to marry him." She said out loud as she closed the lid and stood up. 

She had to get it together before she picked up Johnny. She smiled. Once he was there and holding her everything would be ok. Her only thing now was whether or not to tell Johnny about Elijah. 

She went into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. Se didn't recognize the girl looking back at her anymore. The Lauren she knew and loved would never had done the things she did. How she had let things get this far she would never know. But now she had a chance to make things right. She loved Johnny. With everything that she was. If she could just make sure she didn't lose him too everything would be fine.


	6. Chapter 6

Lauren was feeling more like herself as she arrived at the airport to pick up Johnny. Even though it was hard to hurt Elijah and that they might never be the friends, they had once been, she was glad that she did it. 

She loved Johnny. And she was going to let nothing get in the way of that again. She pulled her car into a space and looked at her watch. She was right on time. She ran into the building and waited. She saw his tall, bespectacled form coming her way and the butterflies that she always got when she saw him intensified. 

Tonight for the first time in months, she was going to totally focus on this man. Her mind. Her heart. Her everything was with him. And that was the very reason that she didn't choose Elijah. 

~~~~~ 

He broke into a huge smile as he saw her run towards him. He picked her up and twirled her around. He hadn't seen her like this in quit awhile. Carefree and happy. And that was one of the things that had been bothering him lately. She seemed to be somewhere else when they were together. 

He closed his eyes and hugged her tighter. He loved this woman and he would do anything to make her happy. 

~~~ 

She let a tear or two slip out her eyes and she felt Johnny hug her closer. She turned so that her lips were touching his ear. It might not be the place, but it was most definitely the time. 

"I love you John." She whispered into his ear. 

She felt him suck in his breath. She picked her head up and looked at him. 

~~~~~ 

She just told him that she loved him. He couldn't believe it. She loved him. This beautiful, vibrant wonderful woman loved him. With all of his tendencies towards the "quirky", as the tabloids like to say, with two kids and a chain smoking habit that would make the Tobacco Coalition cringe, she still loved him. 

He looked at her. He smiled. Something changed since he had left the day before. He knew something was wrong with her. He had known it for months but didn't bring it up. 

"Let's get home. We need to talk." Johnny said taking her hand and leading out of the airport. 

~~~~~ 

Johnny was in such a state of arousal when they arrived at her place that he could barely walk. Lauren had been sending him heated looks, and caressing him in all the right places on the ride home that it took everything in him not to pull her car over and have right there on the highway. 

Now that they were at her house he wasn't a patient man. As soon as the door opened he turned her and pinned her against it. 

"John..." 

He quieted her with a kiss. And then some. He made her weak. She made him weak. She asked for forgiveness in every kiss. Instinctively he knew that's what she was doing. She had been distant lately and she wanted him to know that she was back and that she was sorry. He wanted her to know that he forgave her. No words we needed. Everything they were thinking and feeling was transferred in their feverish lovemaking. 

He lowered her to the floor and framed her face with his hands. 

"I've missed you baby." He said quietly. 

She closed her eyes and a tear rolled down her cheek. She opened them when she felt his tongue lick the tear off her face. 

"Me too. But I'm back. And all yours." 

He sighed and kissed her again. 

~~~~~~~ 

Johnny slowly came awake and looked around. Sometime after their interlude on the living room floor he moved them to the couch. He looked down to her sleeping form and smiled. Something defiantly changed with Lauren and he was happy about it. She hadn't been that much "with him" when they were together in a long time. He felt like she was totally focused on him. He had been really worried because last time they had made love, he sensed she was a million miles away and nothing he could do would bring her back. 

So whatever happened in the last three days he was thankful for and he wasn't even going to ask. If she wanted to talk about what had happened he would be more than willing to listen. For now he was content to hold her. To love her. 

~~~ 

Lauren stirred and felt like she was experiencing a severe case of de ja vou. But this time instead of panicking when she opened her eyes and saw who was holding her, she smiled brightly. This is where she should have been from the beginning. Her smiled faded a little, as she experienced a sense of guilt. 

Just twenty four hours ago she was laying on this same couch with another man. She shook off those thoughts and concentrated on Johnny. She knew she would experience the guilt but it would fade in time and there was no reason for Johnny to ever find out. Besides the chances of seeing Elijah again were a million to one. 

"Morning babe." Johnny said kissing her. 

Lauren stretched and the blanket fell off. Immediately she felt Johnny's reaction. He winked at her and she blushed. 

"I think I need a shower." He said standing up and pulling her with him. "Care to join me?" 

She smiled. 

"I would love too." 

He picked her up and carried her to the bathroom and kissed her as he set her down to start the water. She sighed. She was happy. Content. Everything was going to be fine.


	7. Chapter 7

3 Months Later 

"John, I'm home." She yelled as she made her way to the kitchen and put down the groceries she just bought. 

"In here." Johnny yelled from the bedroom. 

Lauren smiled as she walked in and saw him watching TV. "Still here? This is where I left you an hour ago." 

Johnny shrugged. He had flown in from a meeting with some of the people working on the sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean and he had wanted to rest. 

"I decided I wanted to watch a movie. And since the premier of Return of the King is less than a month away, I thought I would give myself a refresher." 

Lauren turned and almost fainted. She had put away her copy of Fellowship about a week after she broke things off with Elijah. She blinked and felt her face lose all it's color. She stood there staring at Elijah as Frodo, just after Gandalf died, with the same look on his face that he had when she had told him the truth. 

"Lauren, hey babe, you OK? You look like you have seen a ghost." Johnny paused the movie right at that spot and stood up next to her. He looked from her to the screen back to her again. "Hey I knew you loved this movie..but..." 

She shook her head and turned and hugged Johnny. She closed her eyes and tried to stop the tears. If she didn't stop this he was going to ask what was wrong. 

He looked down at her and saw the unshed tears in her eyes. "Baby, what's wrong?" 

She shook her head again. "Nothing. Sorry. You can finish this if you want. I am going to check my e-mail and stuff." She leaned up and kissed him. "Love you." 

"Love you to babe." He said watching her leave and being very confused. He shrugged. Sometimes women confused him. He looked back at the movie and un paused. 

"What the hell?" He asked out loud chuckling a little. He just chalked it up to Elijah Wood's acting ability. Being able to get that kind of reaction out of someone was a talent. 

~~~~~~ 

Lauren composed herself and logged into her AIM. She had less to look out now that she stopped going to all the places she went to read about Elijah and she stopped going to the ones about Johnny because she found herself getting angry at some of those people. Unjustly so she knew, because at one time she was one of those people, but she still got mad. 

She had her Orlando forums to catch up on and the Sha forum. She was still pissed that Johnny wouldn't let her tell any of her friends there about them. Especially Fred, her best friend on the Internet. They never kept things from each other and it was killing her not to tell her. And her other friends. 

She was just getting to the OBC board when Johnny came up behind her. 

"Busy?" 

She jumped fifty feet out of her chair. 

"In fact I am." She said starting her routine of moderating the board. 

Johnny pulled up a chair next to her. 

"Can I help?" He asked winking. 

"Right. You won't even let me tell these girls that have become some of my best friends about us." She said pouting. 

Johnny rolled his eyes. "Really how much can you know about someone, never having met them in person? You can tell what, who a person really is from their eyes. The eyes are a window into a persons soul. This kind of communication closes that window. How do you know that they are not freaks or something?" 

Lauren sighed. They had been over and over this and he just wouldn't budge. She still had to tell him that she was going to NYC with Fred to the opening of Return of the King. 

"I know. I know. Really though you have nothing to worry about." 

Johnny raised an eyebrow. "Oh and why is that?" 

She smiled. "Well, let's see. They all love Orlando. Turns out though, truth be told, most of them have a first choice. Except Geri, OrlisBane, she is all about Orlando. Most of them freak out about Viggo, Bon Jovi, one of them even has a fascination for boy bands. NSYNC specifically." 

This made him laugh. "Ok so that was supposed to make me feel better. That none of these chicks like me? Good for the ego." 

"I didn't say that. Alie loves you. In fact she still goes to the one Johnny board's and keeps me appraised as to what is going on. She has no idea why I quit going though." 

Johnny still was unsure about her friends. He knew there was only four that she would talk to. He was just worried about their privacy. That was one of the reasons he lived in France. Although, he did spend more time in the states now and that was because of Lauren. Things on the Internet could get out of hand fast. 

"Listen. Maybe sometime soon you can talk to them. I just need to think about it a little more." 

She smiled at him. That was all that she wanted, was for him to think about it. 

"Thank you John." 

"Anything for you babe, you know that." He leaned down and kissed her. "Now I will leave you to do whatever it is you do here." 

She watched him leave and sighed. She loved him so much. 

~~~~~~~ 

After Johnny got done with the movies, he decided he wanted to make dinner and now they were enjoying some coffee when his cell rang. 

Lauren was watching Johnny as he was talking on his phone. He was nodding his head and winking at her. She smiled and moved to sit next to him on the couch. 

"Yea. Sounds like fun. Next Thursday. We'll be there. Bye." He threw his phone on the coffee table and pulled Lauren next to him and leaned back on the couch. 

"So?" Lauren asked. 

"So what?" Johnny replied innocently. 

"So what my ass," Lauren said hitting him in the chest. 

"OUCH. Damn for a little thing you sure pack a punch." Johnny said rubbing his chest. 

"And there will be more where that came from if you don't tell me about next Thursday." She threatened, cracking her knuckles. 

He smiled and kissed the top of her head. 

"OK. There is a party next week at a friends house. Thing is some his friends are well.." 

Lauren rolled her eyes. "Ok so I am going to be hob knobbing with some of the rich and famous. I think I will be ok." She said laughing. "What about you? Your the one that likes to stay away from that stuff?" 

Johnny shrugged. "It's a small party. And I would like you to meet some of my friends. Not all of Hollywood are asses." 

Lauren laughed. "Then I am sure we will have a great time." 

She stood up and headed towards the kitchen she stopped and turned around. "Who's house are we going too?" 

Johnny smiled. "That's for me to know and you to find out." 

She squinted at him. "Go to hell John." She went into the kitchen pouting, with Johnny's laughter following her. 

He put his feet on the table in front of him and sighed. He wanted to see the look on her face when she walked into that party. On their second date she grilled him about working on Pirates and she wanted to know everything about Orlando Bloom. Seems that she had an attachment to the "British heartthrob" same as every other woman in the world. Those friends that she cared so much about she made via an Orlando Bloom board. Which Johnny found highly amusing seeing as that he could never even get Orlando near his laptop when they were filming the movie. 

Yes. Next Thursday was going be highly entertaining and would probably give Lauren enough information for a weeks worth of posts.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Credit : Kiss ~Prince

ONE WEEK LATER 

"John how should I dress?" Lauren whined looking at the clothes she had to choose from. 

"You look edible in anything. More edible in nothing, but I know you have to wear something." Johnny said laying one of his sexy gazes on her. 

She turned to him wide eyed and smiled. "Do we have to go to the party?" She asked as she walked up and kissed letting him know what they could be doing instead. 

He pushed her and winked. "Yes. We promised. But we will continue with this discussion later." 

She kissed him again silently praying that the night would go by fast. 

~~~~~~~ 

Lauren couldn't help it. She was getting more nervous the closer they got to their destination. And Johnny not telling her where they were going, made it ten times worse. 

"John. Please. I don't think I want to be surprised." She pleaded one more time as he parked the car. 

He leaned over and kissed her. "Trust me. You are never going to forget tonight." 

They walk up to the house holding hands and he rang the doorbell. Lauren's jaw hit the ground when she saw who opened the door. She could barely walk. 'I am going to have to tell my friends about this' she thought to herself. 

"Depp. Glad you could make it. Who is this lovely lady?" 

Lauren's eyes got even wider as she watched his head lower and he kissed her hand. 'Geri is gonna die.' 

"This is my girl Lauren. Lauren this is Orlando Bloom." Johnny said trying not to laugh at the astonished expression on her face. 

"Nice to meet you Mr. Bloo.." Lauren started but was stopped by Orlando pulling her into the house. 

"None of that now. Any friend of Depp's here is a friend of mine. Please call me Orlando." 

Lauren smiled. 

"OK. Nice to meet you Orlando." She couldn't help it. She giggled. 

Orlando looked at her with a raised eyebrow. Johnny came up and put his arm around her. 

"Sorry Bloom. She is what the world calls a fan girl. She just couldn't help herself." Johnny said wincing as Lauren elbowed him in the ribs. 

"Serves you right, Depp. Calling your lady a fan girl. Some of them are bloody terrifying." 

Lauren laughed. He was right. Even her group of friends, could get down right terrifying at times. 

"Please. Relax. You guys are some of the first ones here. Drinks are that way," he said pointing to the kitchen,"seating is pretty much all over the place." 

"Thanks Bloom." Johnny said as Orlando headed towards the door again after hearing the bell ring. "So drinks? Or sit?" 

Lauren was still trying to regain some of the composure she lost when Orlando opened the door. She just shrugged and Johnny chuckled. 

"Planning on leaving me now are you?" Johnny said winking. 

Lauren scowled. "Bite me. I told you to warn me first. Really, seeing that man in person is enough to..." She clamped her mouth shut as she realized she was gushing about the hotness that was Orlando to her boyfriend who was just as if not hotter than Orlando. 

Johnny raised an eyebrow. "To what?" 

Lauren shook her head. "Nothing at all." 

Johnny laughed and lead her into the kitchen. 

~~~~~ 

After about an hour someone turned on the music and Orlando's back patio became an impromptu club. Lauren was laughing and having a wonderful time meeting some of the people that Johnny hung around with. 

Things got even funnier when Dom and Billy showed up. Lauren was in non stop laughter over their antics. Johnny sat down next to her and put an arm around and kissed her cheek. 

"Having fun babe?" He asked. 

"Tons." She replied eyes sparkling in delight. 

Both turned their attention to Dom and Billy who just called everyone to attention. 

"Everyone look up here." Dom said tapping on a microphone. 

Johnny laughed. "Seems they figured out that Orlando had a kareoke machine with that stereo system." 

"Oh god." Lauren said laughing. 

"OK Bill and I need some backup dancers. So Kiera, Kate... get up here." 

Both girls were shaking their heads and cursing Dom to the ground. But Billy wouldn't let them go. 

"OK if we are doing this we aren't doing this alone are we Kate?" Kiera said into the mic. 

"Hell no." Kate said wiggling her eyebrows. 

"Lauren you get up here too." Both girls said at once. 

Lauren about fell out of her chair. She was the last person she thought they would call. Johnny laughed and pushed up. 

"Go on. Get." 

Lauren stuck her tongue out at him. "You are so dead." 

Johnny just stuck his out right back at her. The three girls stood in a row behind Dom and Billy and waited. None having a clue what they were going to be involved in. 

"The song that we are going to perform for you tonight is a classic. Wouldn't you say so Billy." 

"Aye, I do." Billy said clapping his hands. 

"Are we ready?" Dom asked and everyone cheered. 

"Ready back there girls?" He asked. 

The three girls shrugged. There really was no way to be ready for something that Dom and Billy come up with. 

As soon as the music started the crowd broke into a fit of laughter and then it got worse once Dom and Billy started strutting around. 

Lauren, Kiera, and Kate were laughing so hard they couldn't even move. Kate whispered to the girls and they smiled. Each girl picked someone to dance too. Lauren of course picked Johnny. Kate picked Orlando and Kiera decided Heath Ledger needed a little attention. 

Lauren sauntered her way up to Johnny to the beat of the music. His eyes got wider with every step she took. 

_U don't have 2 be beautiful  
2 turn me on   
I just need your body baby   
From dusk till dawn   
U don't need experience   
2 turn me out   
U just leave it all up 2 me   
I'm gonna show u what it's all about_

She was trying so hard not to laugh at the expression on Johnny's face. It didn't take much to turn that boy on and it was more than fun to get him going. 

_U don't have 2 be rich  
2 be my girl   
U don't have 2 be cool   
2 rule my world   
Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with   
I just want your extra time and your _

Johnny about fell out of his chair with laughter when Dom and Billy both attempted to sing in the high voice fashion of Prince. Lauren looked over and saw both Orlando and Heath were dieing. The three girls looked at each other and winked. 

_Kiss_

She bent down an whispered the word in his ear and she heard him release a soft moan. She loved the power she had over him. 

_U got to not talk dirty, baby  
If u wanna impress me   
U can't be 2 flirty, mama   
I know how 2 undress me (Yeah)   
I want 2 be your fantasy   
Maybe u could be mine   
U just leave it all up to me   
We could have a good time _

By the end of the second line, Johnny was forgetting to laugh. He wanted to grab and get her out of there. Or at least find one of Orlando's spare rooms. With the mood she got him in they wouldn't need a whole lot of time. 

Lauren could read his eyes and wiggled her finger at him and mouthed the word no. He pouted and she found it so cute that she placed a kiss on his lips. 

_U don't have 2 be rich  
2 be my girl   
U don't have 2 be cool   
2 rule my world   
Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with   
I just want your extra time and your _

Since she could tell that he had enough, she caught the eyes of the other two and they made their way back up to where Dom and Billy were for the last part of the song. 

_Kiss_

_Yes  
I think I wanna dance   
Gotta, Gotta   
Little girl Wendy's parade   
Gotta, gotta, gotta _

_Women not girls rule my world  
I said they rule my world   
Act your age, mama (Not your shoe size)   
Not your shoe size   
Maybe we could do the twirl   
U don't have 2 watch Dynasty   
2 have an attitude   
U just leave it all up 2 me   
My love will be your food   
Yeah >_

_For the last chorus the whole place sang along._

__U don't have 2 be rich  
2 be my girl   
U don't have 2 be cool   
2 rule my world   
Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with   
I just want your extra time and your _ _

__Kiss_ _

_At the end, everyone applauded and Johnny went up to her and wrapped his arms around the front of her._

_"That was evil."_

_"I know. You can punish me later." She said wiggling her eyebrows and blushing at how dark his eyes had got._

_"You can count on it." He said kissing her neck._

_"OK I need a drink I will be right back." She said heading to the kitchen with Kiera and Kate following her._

_She was laughing with the girls and when she came back into the living room Johnny grabbed her arm._

_"And this is my girl Lauren."_

_She turned to see who she was being introduced to when she dropped her glass and went deathly white._

_"Lauren you ok honey?" Johnny asked worried._

_She couldn't breath. This couldn't be happening. Why didn't she think that this could happen? She should have realized it._

_"Shit" She said quietly._

_"Damn" Elijah said at the same time._


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONG CREDITS:  
> Rest In Pieces~ Saliva  
> 

Elijah could not take his eyes off of her. He blinked twice and took a step forward. She took a step back. 

Orlando looked from Elijah to Lauren to Johnny. 

"She having another fan girl moment mate?" Orlando asked. 

Johnny shrugged. He had no clue what was going on. 

"Ren.." Elijah said before thinking. He cursed himself. He didn't see Johnny spin around and look at him. 

Lauren's eyes widened in shock and she did what anyone else would do. She turned and ran out of the house. Johnny followed her calling her name. 

"What in bloody hell was that about?" Orlando asked. 

Elijah downed his drink in one swallow and glared at Orlando. Not that Orlando deserved it but he was there. 

"Damn Orlando." 

Orlando was now even more confused. "Ok Lij. Who? What? Where?" 

Elijah smiled. That was their way of saying they wanted details. "That's her Orli." 

"Her?" Orlando asked still not picking up what he was supposed to. 

Elijah looked at him a second. Orlando's eyes widened to the size of saucers. 

"Her? Her? Her that did the flamenco on your heart? Her that had a boy friend while you and her.." 

Elijah snorted and put his hand up to stop Orlando's tirade. " Thanks Orlando. That's enough. Do you know how long they have been together?" 

Orlando stopped and thought. Then his mouth dropped in shock. "Dude, she was with Depp. Depp was the boyfriend." 

Elijah looked at him. "Your shitting me?" 

"I shit not." 

Elijah sat on the couch and put his head in his hands. "I never even thought about running into her. And she must never have told him." 

Orlando shook his head. "I doubt it. Now what?" 

Elijah shrugged. "I have no clue. None what so ever." He leaned back against the couch. The last five minutes reinforced the fact that he indeed was not over her. And probably would never be. 

~~~~~ 

Lauren made it to the sidewalk before she broke down into tears. She barely heard Johnny calling her. He came running up to her and put his arm around her. He rocked her while she cried. She knew that this might be one of the last times that he would do this. After he found out what she did, it would be over. 

"Shhh baby. Calm down." Johnny was at a loss as to why seeing Elijah Wood would make her react this way. "Come one. Let's go in an see if you can lay down for a little bit." 

That was the last thing she wanted to do. She wanted Johnny to take her home and make love to her until she couldn't remember who she was let alone Elijah Wood. But if she begged to go home, then he would start asking questions and she just wasn't ready to answer them yet. 

So, she stood up wiped the tears off of her face and smiled. "Sorry John. I must have just got over heated after dancing." 

Johnny didn't believe it for a second, but he didn't want to push her right now. They walked together into the house and Orlando met them at the door. 

"Bloom. Can she lay down for a little bit?" 

"Sure. Upstairs I have an extra room that doesn't have all my stuff in it." 

Orlando showed them to the room and Johnny laid her down. "Sleep babe. I will check on you in a few ok?" 

Lauren nodded her head and smiled. "Thank you. I love you." 

Johnny pushed the hair back off of her forehead. "I love you to baby." He kissed her and then left. He shook his head. He was more than confused as to what had just happened. 

~~~~~ 

Elijah watched Orlando and Johnny take Lauren up to a room to lay down. Why couldn't he get her out of his system? They had only been together for three months. Truth was he fell hard and fast as soon as he saw her. 

He saw Johnny come back down the stairs and head towards the kitchen. He looked around and decided to check on her himself. Just as he was about to go up the stairs and hand stopped him. 

"Lij. Don't." Orlando said. 

Elijah shook his arm off. "Let me go Orlando." 

"You are just going to hurt yourself more if you go up there." 

Elijah's eyes filled with tears. "I am already dead inside Orli. There is nothing more that can happen to me." 

Orlando shook his head as he watched his friend go up the stairs. 

~~~~~~~ 

Elijah stood outside her door just looking at her. He sighed and let some of the tears he had been fighting since he saw her fall down his cheeks. 

_Look at me, my depth perception must be off again_  
Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did  
It has not healed with time  
It just shot down my spine _  
You look so beautiful tonight 

She looked just like he dreamed every night for the last three months. His dreams were always the same. The ended with him dieing. He would wake up and replay in his mind the night she told him she didn't love him. He remembered everything. How she laid with him the night before. How she smiled at him like everything was alright. 

Remind me how you laid us down  
And gently smiled before you destroyed my life 

He took a step into the room an softly closed the door behind him. "Ren" he said softly so that she wouldn't awaken. "Make this stop hurting." He asked her, even though he knew she wouldn't answer. 

_Would you find it in your heart_  
To make this go away  
And let me rest in pieces  
Would you find it in your heart?  
To make this go away  
And let me rest in pieces  
Would you find it in your heart?  
To make it go away  
And let me rest in pieces 

He kneeled down on his knees next to the bed and looked closer at her. He gave her everything. So much so that there was nothing left inside him. 

_Look at me, my depth perception must be off again_  
You got much closer than I thought you did  
I'm in your reach  
You held me in your hands  
But could you find it in your heart?  
To make this go away  
And let me rest in pieces 

He lightly touched her hair. Some more tears fell from his eyes. "Please Ren. Make this stop." He whispered quietly again. "Please let me have some peace." 

_Would you find it in your heart?_  
To make it go away  
And let me rest in pieces 

Elijah stood back up and turned back towards the door. He would never be over her. He looked at her one more time and then left the room. 

When the door clicked shut Lauren opened her eyes and let the tears fall again. She had heard Elijah's whispered words. "I am so sorry Lij." She said out loud and sat up. 

She had to get home. She would tell Johnny to stay. That she wasn't feeling good. She would just catch a cab. She needed to toughen up for the fight that was ahead. She stood up and opened the door. She stood at the head of the stairs and took a breath. 

"Here goes nothing." She said to herself and headed back down to the party.


	10. Chapter 10

Lauren made her way to the bottom of the stairs where Kate stopped her. 

"Are you ok Lauren?" She asked concerned. 

Lauren nodded her head. "Yea. Just a bit tired. I want to go home. Where's Johnny?" 

Kate bit her lip. "Ummm right now he is having a heated discussion with Elijah and Orlando." 

Lauren closed her eyes and swayed. She opened them when Kate spoke. 

"Listen. I will take you home. Here is the keys to my car. GO sit. I will raise the white flag and tell Johnny that I am taking you home. I don't think you need to be involved in whatever they are discussing." 

Lauren offered a small smile. "Thank you. Which car is yours?" 

"The Mustang. Now go. I will be with you in a sec." 

Lauren made her way to the car and got in. All of a sudden her head hurt. She leaned her cheek against the cold glass and closed her eyes. 'Please John. Forgive me.'

~~~~~~ 

"Excuse me guys..." Kate said stepping into Orlando's study. She looked at Johnny. 

"I am going to take Lauren home. She isn't feeling so well." 

Johnny wanted to protest, but knew he had to talk to Elijah and find out what he could. So far he hadn't gotten anywhere, which reinforced the thought that something was up 

"Thank you Kate. Tell her I will be home in a little bit." Johnny said trying his best to smile. 

Kate looked at Elijah and she raised an eyebrow. Elijah was worried about Lauren too. "I will. She will be fine. She is just really tired I think." She said knowing that this would relieve both men. 

She left and got into her car. She looked at Lauren who's face was still against the window and saw the tears falling down her face. She shook her head. 'This poor girl' she thought as she put the car in drive. 

~~~~ 

"Damn it Bloom. Get him to talk." Johnny said pacing back and forth in the study. 

"Why me?" Orlando asked annoyed that he had got drug into this. 

"Because he's your friend. He should listen to you." 

Orlando snorted. "He has never listened to me a day in his life. If he had..." Orlando shut his mouth when Elijah looked at him. 

"What Bloom?" Johnny asked threateningly. 

"Look Depp, whatever is going on is between you and Lauren. Maybe you should ask her." Orlando said getting angry. 

Johnny turned and looked at Elijah. "How do you know Lauren?" 

Elijah looked up at him. He was scared. Johnny Depp could rip him limb from limb if he felt like it. And if he knew that he had slept with his girlfriend, he was willing to bet that Johnny would feel like it. 

"I don't know her." He said quietly. 

"Bull****. You called her Ren. I don't even call her Ren. Only someone close to her would call her that." 

Elijah bit his lip. So he had heard that little slip. Elijah stood up. 

"****." He said and looked Johnny in the eye. He was going to have to do this. Man to man. And deal with the consequences. "Your right. I know Lauren." 

That seemed to take the wind out of Johnny's sails. He sat on the couch and looked from Orlando to Elijah and back again. Orlando nodded his head. 

"OK. I'm listening." Johnny said putting his elbows on his knees and looking up and Elijah who was the one pacing now. 

Elijah had no idea where to begin. 'Hi I am your girlfriends ex-lover' just didn't seem right. He sat down next to Johnny. He was just going to have to tell him straight out. 

"I wanted to marry her." He said quietly. 

Johnny's face went white. "When?" He couldn't believe that she would leave a little detail like dating Elijah Wood out. 

"Jesus." 

Elijah and Johnny looked at Orlando. He looked down at the floor. He knew what was coming and he had to be ready to get Johnny off of Elijah. 

"Three months ago." Elijah said never taking his eyes from Johnny. 

"What the *&^%?" Johnny said jumping up. "You a lying bastard." 

Elijah shook his head. "I wish I was." 

"I don't believe it." Johnny was pacing the study fast. " I won't. We have been together for nine months. If that were true then she would have to be seeing you..." He couldn't even think that. NO. She didn't do that. He looked at Elijah and just knew. Knew from his eyes that he was telling the truth. 

Johnny saw red. He picked Elijah up and threw him against the wall. He felt his arm being grabbed and turned to see Orlando trying to stop him. 

"Get the hell off of me Bloom. This has nothing to do with you." Johnny said gearing up to throw a punch Elijah's way. 

"Yes it does. You both are my friends. Johnny." Orlando said grabbing his arm. 

Since Orlando never called him anything then Depp, he knew this was important. 

"As much as this hurts..the person you need to be taking this up with is Lauren." 

Johnny put his arm down and let Elijah go. Elijah crumpled to the floor and rubbed his neck. 

"Honest Johnny. I didn't know she had a boy friend until she broke up with me three months ago. I most definitely didn't know it was you until about an hour ago." 

Johnny couldn't even process what he was being told. "I gotta talk to Lauren." He stood up and ran out of the room. 

Elijah stood up still rubbing his neck. "I hope he don't hurt her." He said softly. 

Orlando shook his head. "After all of this you still defend her? Are you a daft prick?" 

Elijah sighed. "No. Just a man in love." 

He turned and left the study leaving Orlando to wonder what in the hell just happened to his friends.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Credit : Don't Say It's To Late ~ Westlife

After Lauren got in the house she didn't know what to do. She had no idea how long Johnny would be or if he would even come back that night. She was just lost. She slowly walked up the stairs and decided to take a hot shower. Hopefully it would help her clear her mind. So she would say the right things. Do the right things. 

She had never felt so alone in her life. She couldn't even call Fred, because she was never able to tell her she was dating Johnny. She stood under the water and started to cry again. She just hoped it wasn't too late. She should have told him from the beginning. 

_It doesn't take much to learn  
when the bridges that you burn   
Leave you stranded feeling alone   
It doesn't take much to cry   
when you're living in a lie   
And deceiving that someone who cares   
If I could turn back the time   
I would put you first in my life_

After a few minutes the shower stopped helping, so she got out and dried herself off. She walked into their bedroom, grabbed a pair of sweat pants and a sweatshirt and sat on the edge of the bed. She was slowly drying her hair with a towel and thinking about what had happened and what was sure to happen once Johnny confronted her. All she knew was that she would do anything to make sure that he was assured of her love for him. She really had no clue how to go about that but she had to find someway. 

 

_And I would risk it all for you  
to prove my love is true   
I'll build a wall around my heart   
that would only break a part for you   
Can change the way I feel   
so tell me what's the deal   
Don't say   
Don't say it's too late _

She stood up and looked out the window when she heard a car near by. She saw their car in the driveway and waited. Johnny had yet to get out. She closed her eyes and pictured him sitting there. Crying. Shaking his head. She knew the hardest part of the night was before her. Everything she did from now on was all up to him. She would do whatever she had to, to prove herself to him. To make him trust her again. 

She just wished she could go back to when she first met Elijah and talk to Johnny. Tell him what she was feeling. The things that had caused her to fall into Elijah's arms in the first place. She knew it was her fault for not talking to him. For keeping things inside. 

_And now  
The hills are getting hard to climb   
I'm runnin' out of time   
My decisions are pending on you   
And I will accept the blame   
for burnin' out the flame   
Hoping the story will twist once again   
If I could turn back the time   
I would put you first in my life _

Lauren sighed and pushed herself away from the window. There was no use in thinking about what she should have done and what she should not have done. The plain truth of it was that she screwed this up and she was going to have to do something big to fix it. She was going to have to reach inside herself for the strength and the will to make him forgive her. 

_And I would risk it all for you  
to prove my love is true   
I'll build a wall around my heart   
that would only break a part for you   
Can change the way I feel   
so tell me what's the deal   
Don't say   
Don't say it's too late _

She was going to have to put her whole heart. Her soul. Her whole being out there for him. Something she should had done from the beginning. 

_Now I'm  
Layin' it all on the line   
For you _

She grabbed a brush and started on her hair. She stopped when she heard the downstairs door open and close quietly. She heard him throw his car keys down on the table right next to the door. 

She held her breath and waited. Waited it seemed like forever before she heard him making his way slowly up the stairs. 

She closed her eyes and said a quick prayer. "Please let him forgive me. Please don't let this be the end. Don't let it be to late." 

_And I would risk it all for you  
to prove my love is true   
I'll build a wall around my heart   
that would only break a part for you   
Can change the way I feel   
so tell me what's the deal   
Don't say   
Don't say it's too late_

She opened her eyes and set the brush down. She thought about running out to meet him, but decided he should be the one to come to her. She sat back down on the edge of the bed and looked towards the door. And waited.


	12. Chapter 12

Johnny stopped at the door of their bedroom. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to stop the tears. He didn't want her to see the tears. He had some pride. He was about to open the door when a thought stopped him. 

Had Elijah been here? He shook his head. He couldn't think about that. Details were not important. His heart was already breaking, if not totally broken. Knowing all the sorted details would just kill him. 

He took a deep breath and opened the door. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Lauren sitting cross legged on the bed with tears falling down her cheeks. He took a step forward and made a move to go to her, but then stopped. It wasn't her that needed comfort right then. 

"Lauren." Was all that he said as he stood in the doorway. 

Lauren blinked and wiped some of the tears off of her face. 

"John." Was her quiet reply. 

He took a few steps into the room and reached for a cigaret. He lit it and took a huge drag. He slowly blew out the smoke and walked to the window. Now that he was here he had no idea what to say to her. He already knew the truth. Just looking into her eyes was all he needed to do, to know that this woman that he loved more than life itself had been with someone else. 

~~~~ 

Lauren's heart was beating a mile a second. She wanted him to say something. Anything. This silence was killing her. Maybe she should say something. She wasn't sure if it was the best idea in the world, but she couldn't sit there much longer with his back turned to her. 

"John...say something. Please." She said quietly 

Johnny turned to her and she sat back a little at the look in his eyes. He put the cigaret out and sighed. 

"What would you like me to say?" He asked smiling, but it not reaching his eyes, which had grown cold looking at her. 

Lauren suddenly got scared. She didn't think he would hurt her, but....she shrugged. "I don't know." 

"Hmmm. You don't know. How about you? Do you have anything you want to say?" 

Lauren's eyes got wide. She had plenty to say but she didn't think that, in the mood he was in at that second he would even begin to believe her. She shook her head. 

~~~~~ 

Johnny paced back and forth at the end of the bed and looked down at her. He was going through every feeling known to man. He had never been this out of control of his emotions before. At the moment he was angry. Angrier than he had ever been in his life. Maybe it was better if he just left. 

He walked over to the closet and grabbed his age old duffel bag. He sat it on the bed next to her and started putting stuff for a couple nights into it. 

~~~ 

Lauren sat there opened mouth. He was packing. He was going to leave. She had to do something. Say something. She put her hand on his as he put some jeans into the bag. 

He froze and looked up at her. 

"Don't leave, John. I love you." She said quietly not taking her eyes off of his. 

~~~~~ 

Johnny snatched his hand away and turned back to the dresser. He closed his eyes a moment and calmed his racing heart. Nothing ever felt as good as her touch, but tonight he didn't want to enjoy it. He wanted to hate it. He wanted to hate her. 

Therein lied the problem. He loved her. Even knowing what she had done he loved her. But forgiveness? That was a whole different issue. As was trust. He didn't know if he could trust her. The only thing he knew for sure was that he had to get away from her. Just for awhile. He was angry. He may love her but he was hurt and angry and anything that was said or done, would be said or done in anger. 

It took effort not to say anything to her as he put some more clothes in the bag. It also took effort not to look at her. 

~~~~ 

Lauren let the tears fall down her face. Johnny was doing his best to ignore her. To not let his emotions get the better of him. She didn't want that. She wanted him to talk to her. To tell her what he was feeling. Thinking. 

She took a deep breath and tried again. "John. You can't just leave without us talking about this. I love you. I am so sorry. " 

His back was still turned to her when she sighed. "John. It didn't mean anything." 

She saw him stiffen and he slowly turned around to look at her. Maybe she shouldn't have said something. The look in his eyes scared her. 

~~~~ 

Johnny was looking at her with anger filled eyes. Did she just say that it meant nothing? He wanted to hit something. He shook his head. 'Calm down.' he kept telling himself. He put his sneakers in the bag and zipped it up. 

He headed towards the door and stopped. He turned and looked at her. "Meant nothing you say? Meant nothing is getting drunk one night and sleeping with someone. That I might understand. Meant nothing is NOT being with someone long enough that they want to marry you. MARRY you for Christ's sake Lauren. You had a relationship with him. No. It meant something. Just what I don't know. I am not even sure if I want to know." 

He opened the bedroom door and stepped into the hall. He turned and looked back at her sitting on their bed. He saw the tears falling down her face. He let some of his own fall. They looked at each for what seemed an eternity. 

"Where are you going?" She asked wiping the tears from her face. 

He shrugged. "I don't know. But when...if, I want to talk I will call you. Good bye Lauren." 

He heard her sob as he walked down the stairs and out the door. He got in the car and sat there. Willing himself to calm down. Space. He definitely needed some space.


	13. Chapter 13

Johnny backed out if the drive way and took one last look at their bedroom window. Where he could picture Lauren still sitting there, crying. Debating weather or not to run after him. 

He shook his head. He drove to the stop sign at the end of the road. Where was he going to go? What was he going to do? He didn't want to be alone, but he didn't want to be around a ton of people either. Maybe he could go back to Orlando's and camp out in one of his spare rooms until everyone left. 

He picked up his cell and dialed Orlando's number. 

"Hey Bloom. It's me Johnny....I'm holding up for now....I was just wondering if I could crash at your place tonight?....Yea I left....I know...I will, but I can't right now.....thank you man...be there in a few." 

He hit end and threw his phone on the seat. He sighed heavily wondering if Elijah would still be at Orlando's. He should have asked, but then it would seem like he was mad at Elijah for all of this. Which was not the case. Elijah was an innocent victim in all of this. Johnny could just see how much the boy was hurting. 

~~~~ 

Lauren sat on the bed for a few more minutes before getting up and trying to formulate a plan. She needed to talk to someone. But who? Amber? Amber sorta stopped talking to her after Lauren took up with Elijah. 

She knew who she wanted to talk to. Fred. She wanted to call Fred and tell her everything. She stood up and grabbed the cordless and went into the kitchen. 'It's not like he is going to find out', she thought to herself. She grabbed a Pepsi and moved to the living room and sat on the couch. 

"Here goes nothing." She said as she dialed Fred's number. 

She tapped her fingers lightly on the arm of the couch as it was ringing. 

"Hello?" 

Lauren smiled. Thank god she was home. 

"Run a marathon?" 

She heard Fred laugh on the other end. 

"Feels like it. How are you?" 

Lauren bit her lip. 

"Not good really." 

"What? What's wrong?" Fred asked suddenly worried. 

"Look, first I have to tell you a story and it's a long one. AND you might get really pissed for a few but you HAVE to let me tell you the whole thing before you go to town on me ok?" 

Lauren waited. When she didn't hear anything she thought maybe Fred hung up on her. 

"Fred?" 

"I'm here. I was just trying to figure out what in the hell you could tell me that would necessitate that warning." 

Lauren smiled. "Trust me. You will never figure this out on your own. Are you sitting?" 

"I am now." 

"Good." 

~~~~~~~~~ 

"And," Lauren sighed, wiping the tears off of her face, " he left an hour ago and I have no idea where he is." 

If Lauren thought the silence was loud after she warned Fred to just listen, it was deafening now. She knew she hadn't been hung up on this time, because she could here Fred's labored, which meant pissed, breathing coming over the line. 

"Jesus H. Christ." 

Lauren waited. Fred was not done by any means. 

"****." 

Lauren nodded. After a few more expletives Fred seemed to calm down. 

"Ok. Bob. I understand his being leery of all of us that you met. So that don't make me mad. Well, it don't make me THAT mad. He should have at least let you call me. NOW, what pisses me off royally is that he took off without letting you explain anything." 

Lauren smiled. She knew Fred would be on her side, but this time her side was wrong. 

"I know, but if the situation was reversed I would have done the same thing. It was more than a one time thing Fred. I really screwed up here." Lauren finished, starting to cry again. 

"Oh honey. I can't begin to think about how you must feel. OR even why you did it. I can however be to you in a day or two. I don't think you should be alone right now." 

Lauren sniffed and wiped her nose. "You don't have to do that. You can't..." 

"Just stop right there. You are one of my best friends and I know you would do the same thing for me if the situation called for it. You need your friends around you. I know the rest of the girls would come too if they could, but their circumstances won't allow it, so I suggest you talk to them too. I don't want you sitting all alone tonight." 

Lauren sighed. She didn't think she would be able to talk about the Johnny/Elijah thing with them, but she would get on-line to make sure she didn't go insane. 

"Okay. I promise." Lauren said quietly. 

"Good. Now I am going to get going and make arrangements....Jesus Bob..Johnny AND Elijah. " 

Lauren laughed visualizing Fred shaking her head. 

"See ya soon Bob." 

"Thank you." 

"Forget it. That's what friends are for. Bye." 

"Bye." 

Lauren hung up the phone and sighed. She wouldn't be alone for long. She was happier than she wanted to admit that Fred was coming to see her. She really didn't want to be alone. 

~~~~~ 

Johnny pulled into Orlando's driveway and was happy to see that most of the party had dispersed. He grabbed his bag and walked into the house. He threw the bag at the bottom of the stairs. 

"Bloom?" He yelled. 

"Study!" Orlando yelled back. 

Johnny walked into the study and stopped. Elijah was still there. HE blinked. 

"What are you doing here?" He asked. Not really knowing why he was mad. 

"I didn't know you were coming back." Elijah replied standing up. "I will leave though." 

Orlando raised a hand. "Wait. You don't have to go anywhere Lij. Depp. Kitchen." 

Johnny sighed and followed Orlando into the kitchen. Orlando poured some scotch in a glass and handed it to Johnny. 

"Listen Depp, this isn't Elijah's fault. You have no reason to pissed at him." 

Johnny downed the drink and set the glass on the table. "I know that. My mind totally agrees with you. But my heart..my heart can't stand to see the guy that has seen what only I should have been able to. He slept with her Bloom. Yes, it's not his fault, but I look at him, I see him with Lauren. MY LAUREN." 

He grabbed the bottle of scotch and poured another glass and downed it just as fast as the first one. 

"And I can't handle it right now. I need to think, not be reminded of what she did." 

Orlando drew his eyebrows together. He did see the point that Johnny was trying to make. 

"OK. I will tell him to leave. You go relax and will be with you as soon as he's gone." 

Johnny took the bottle of scotch with him and sat on the couch. He needed to get wasted. And fast.


	14. Chapter 14

"Maybe I should go back to France." Johnny said, words slightly slurred from consuming so much scotch. 

"Without talking to her?" Orlando asked still nursing his second one. He was not much of a drinker and with the mood that Johnny was in, Orlando figured one of them should remain sober. 

Johnny looked at Orlando and laughed. Without humor. "And talk to her about what exactly? I already know everything." 

"You don't know why she did it." Orlando said softly. 

"Why? I can tell you why." Johnny downed another glass and sat down beside Orlando. "Because she's a !@#$." 

Orlando knew that the liquor was talking. The liquor and his broken heart. "Depp, maybe you should go get some sleep. Before you start saying things you don't mean." 

Johnny scowled. "I mean everything I say. Unlike my darling girlfriend. She seems to have written the book on lying and saying things that you don't mean." He stood up and started pacing. 

"I love you John." He said in high voice trying to imitate a woman's. "Bull freakin ****." 

Orlando shook his head. He knew this was coming. Johnny had been handling all of this with a much greater finesse then he would have, but now that the anger and the booze has set in there was no telling what Johnny was going to say or do. 

Johnny took a cigaret out of his pocket and started to light it. 

"Depp. Take the smoke outside. You know there's no smoking in here." Orlando reminded him gently. 

"Go to hell Bloom. I will smoke if want to." 

Orlando stood up and grabbed the cigaret out of his hand. "Not in my house. You might be pissed. You are most definitely drunk. Don't take all of this out on me. I am just trying to be your friend." 

Johnny scowled. "Whatever." He slammed back down on the couch and put his head in his hands. 

"I love her Bloom." He said quietly letting the tears fall again. 

Orlando sat down next to him and rubbed his back. "I know you do Depp. I know you do." 

~~~~~ 

Elijah sat in his house, utterly alone and depressed. He thought he had moved on slightly from the whole ordeal with Lauren. He even had gone on a few dates since then. Of course he was always comparing them to Ren, but that was to be expected. He loved her. 

Now he knew he just might love her for the rest of his life. Seeing her standing there, it was like getting kicked in the gut. He had wanted to hug her and kiss her and make her realize that they belonged together. 

He stood up and went to the kitchen to see what mind altering spirits he could conjure up. If anyone needed a drink, needed several drinks, it was him. He opened his fridge. Nothing. He found an unopened bottle of vodka and sighed. He grabbed it and headed to his bedroom. He didn't need a glass. He was drinking alone and the bottle would suit him just fine. 

~~~~ 

Lauren booted up her computer and was so happy to see several of her friends on line. Fred was right she needed some sort of diversion. She might tell them what was going on. but just talking to them might help her from doing something really drastic. She smiled. Alie was the first one to IM her. If there was anyone that could make her smile it was Alie. And she needed to at least try to smile.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONG CREDIT: Heart and Shoulder~Heather Nova

Lauren couldn't sleep at all that night. She stared at the ceiling all night trying to figure out why she screwed her life this way. She hurt Elijah. She hurt Johnny. She hurt herself, because now she had nobody. 

She looked at the clock. It was six AM and she hadn't slept one wink. After having a semi enjoyable chat with the girls she called it a night. If anyone suspected her mood was off they never said anything. Besides, there was too much Orlando pervertedness being thrown around by Geri and Sin for anyone to really know that anything was off with her. 

She should have realized that trying to sleep would have been futile. After all, she hadn't slept without Johnny by her side in over three months. She loved sleeping, with her head on his chest. Hearing his steady heartbeat. She loved waking up in the morning to his kisses. She just loved everything about him and she was at a loss now that he was gone. 

She set her feet on the floor and wiped the tears that fell away from her face. She now had to face the long lonely day. She had no idea where he was. Or what he was doing. She was somewhat calmed by the fact that Fred would be by her side in less than a day, then maybe she could start thinking about what to do. 

For now she just had to survive. Even though she was sure that her survival would only be guaranteed when and if Johnny would come back to her. 

~~~~ 

Orlando came down the stairs for his morning run and looked in on Johnny who had passed out on the couch after finishing the bottle of scotch and a few more mood swings, where he went from cursing the very existence of Lauren to wanting to die because he was without her. 

He laid a blanket that had fallen off of Johnny, back on him and stepped back looking down at his friend. He himself was torn. On one hand he didn't ever want to see this girl that had cause two of his best mates, this much trouble. On the other, just by virtue of the type of person he was, he didn't like to judge people till he had both sides. Or all three sides as this case was. 

He had only seen Lauren that once. Way back in NYC after their TRL appearance. He didn't really know her. Only by the things that Elijah had told him, and Johnny was pretty tight lipped about his personal life. Still Orlando was in shock that he had never figured out that Elijah's Ren and Johnny's Lauren were the same person. 

He took one more look at Johnny and headed out for his run. He made a mental note to call Elijah. Elijah had left the night before and was totally alone. That couldn't have been good for him. 

~~~~ 

Fred boarded the plane at 6AM. She actually had gotten an earlier flight then she thought she would get. God, she loved first class. She sat down in her seat and sighed. All night she wondered how Bob got herself into this mess. 

Bob never did anything out of the ordinary or without thinking it through. But, she would never judge her friend. She just wanted to know details. Then she would know the best way to help her. Of course that would be after she recovered from having heard all of the details of having BOTH Johnny and Elijah. She was not going to let Bob skimp on any of those details. Not one bit. 

She closed her eyes and laid her head back. The last place that she had expected to find a kindred spirit as it were, was the Internet. But now that she had found Bob, she would do anything to help her. And Fred, new it was the same with Bob. 

This was the biggest thing either of them had faced since meeting and Fred was not going to let her be alone. 

_Wanna cry for you  
Would it do any good?   
If I rained for you   
It would just be water _

_And the night's with you  
And the storm's in your hand   
And you're down, and you're down   
And I can't lift you _

This was one of those times that Fred wished she lived closer to Bob. She had felt completely helpless the previous night on the phone. But she would do anything she could for her. Then and now. Last night it was just as ear. Tonight it would be her shoulder to cry on and her brain to help come up with a plan. 

_I'm powerless to change your world  
I'm powerless to stop the hurt _

_But I'll give you my heart  
Give you my shoulder   
I give you my heart   
Give you my shoulder   
Over and over_

Not having the answers right away was bugging the hell out of her. This was one thing money was not going to fix. At least right away. She laughed to herself. She wondered if she could bribe Johnny to take Bob back, but then realized he probably had more money than she did. 

_Wanna run for you  
Would it do any good?   
If I flew for you   
You would still be standing _

_And it's hard watching  
'cause I'm part of you   
And it's hard not to   
Not to know what I can do _

All Fred did know was that Bob was lost. She was alone and scared. She had a dream, that seemed to come true and then it was ripped right of her hands. Her heart even, and this was something that needed to be fixed. She would do whatever Bob needed. She would be there for her. Through the whole ordeal. 

Pippin would never abandon Merry. Ever. 

_I'm powerless to change your world  
I'm powerless to stop the hurt _

_I'm trying hard to be your tower of strength  
I'm trying hard to bring you back to joy _

_I'll give you my heart  
Give you my shoulder   
I give you my heart   
Give you my shoulder _

_When the night just cuts you through  
And the dream is lost to you   
When you're worried and confused _

_I will give you my heart give you my shoulder  
I give you my heart   
Give you my shoulder   
Over and over _

_Time and again  
Give you my shoulder   
I will   
I give you my heart   
Give you my shoulder   
I will   
Time and again   
Over and over   
I give you my heart   
Give you my shoulder _


	16. Chapter 16

Johnny opened his eyes and immediately wished he hadn't. He groaned as his head pounded and his stomach churned. He closed his eyes again and sighed. He wished he had never woken up. Not that he wished he was dead, but that he could sleep for a year and he would wake up and everything would be fine. 

He sat up and slowly put his feet on the ground. Truth was even if he did sleep for a year, things would not be right. Everything was wrong. Nothing was right unless Lauren was in his life. But that was impossible. At least for the moment. 

He was to hurt. To angry. He needed some time and space. How much? That he didn't know. In fact there was a lot he didn't know. He was just....lost. 

He stood up and stretched. He looked at the clock. 6:30AM. He figured Orlando would be on his daily run, so he had time to take a shower and change. Hopefully that would make him feel some what human again. 

~~~~ 

Elijah was laying face down on his bed, still in his clothes from the night before. Things were a little foggy as he turned over and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the room to stop spinning. 

Slowly everything that transpired the night before came back to him. Ren. Johnny. He shook his head and put a pillow over his face. He was not getting up anytime soon. His head hurt much and his heart ached to much to even think about trying to live out the day. 

~~~~ 

Lauren sat up and stretched. She felt a little better about the future now that she knew Fred was coming to help her. She also had a vague idea where Johnny might have gone. She wondered if he had gone back to Orlando's or not. 

She looked at the clock by their...she stopped herself then shook her head. It was always going to be their bed. Their apartment. She refused to believe anything different. She had to hold to the hope that her and Johnny would work through this and that she would be in his arms again. Soon. Because without that hope, she might as well be dead. 

She looked at the clock by their bed. It was still to early to call over there. Plus she wasn't sure if she could find the number. With a renewed sensed of purpose she headed to the desk to search for Orlando's phone number. Because the more she thought about it, the more she believed he was there. 

~~~ 

Orlando came back into the house and grabbed a towel off the counter in the kitchen. He really broke into a sweat with this run and it was running down his chest and back. He peeled off his shirt and threw it in the hamper by the washer. 

He needed a shower in the worst way and jogged up the stairs to his bathroom. He stopped at the door when he heard the water on already. 

"Bloody hell." He muttered and went into his bedroom. He looked at his watch and decided it was as good a time as any to check on Elijah. Johnny was in the shower so he wouldn't hear them talking. 

He sat on the bed and pulled his leg up and rested his chin on his knee as he dialed Elijah's number. 

"Damn." He said when he got the answering machine. 

"Listen Lij. I know you are there. You are probably drunk off your ass and hiding. Call me. I want to know that your ok. OK? Call me." 

He shut the phone off and threw it on the bed. He put his arms around his leg and started to think. He would have to stay with Johnny. There was no way around that. But Elijah couldn't be alone either. 

He smiled. He knew who he could call. It was rare that he was in LA, but they were doing some stuff for Return of the King and pretty much the whole cast was around somewhere. He grabbed his phone a dialed a number. 

After three rings he heard a very tired hello. 

"Viggo, it's Orlando." 

"Bloom this had better be good. I just got in last night and I am whooped." 

"It is. I need your help. Frodo needs Aragorn man." 

He heard Viggo sigh, and Orlando could just picture Viggo rolling his eyes. 

"What did he get himself into now?" 

"It's kind of a long story, and it really isn't Lij's fault." 

This seem to get Viggo's attention. 

"Ok. I'm listening." 

Orlando sighed and gave Viggo the story as best as he could, with the information that he had.


	17. Chapter 17

Orlando finished his story and waited. He knew it would take Viggo a few to process this whole thing. 

"Vig?" 

"Yea I'm here." Viggo said quietly. He was trying his best not to be judgmental, but with his past experience with his ex wife and her cheating on him, he was hard pressed not to write Lauren off as no good. "Just thinking. Elijah shouldn't be alone." 

"I agree. But I am with Depp." 

He heard Viggo sigh. "Well, I have an interview at 2:30 and after that I can go over to his place." 

"That would be great. I figure that would be about when he would wake up. Or get out of bed. He was in pretty bad shape when he left here last night. I was worried. I had never seen Lij look so....empty." 

"I know the feeling." Viggo said softly. 

Orlando wished he had kept his mouth shut. Viggo had been ran through the coals with his ex and some things brought all the pain to the fore. But if anyone could help Elijah survive this it would be Viggo. 

"Alright, I hear Depp getting out of the shower. So I can wash the stink off of me now." 

Viggo laughed. "You do that. And don't worry about Lij. I will take care of him." 

"Thanks Vig." 

"Hey that's what The Fellowship is all about man." 

Orlando smiled. He really loved all these guys. 

"Later man." 

"Later." 

Orlando threw the phone on the bed and grabbed some clean clothes and headed towards the bathroom. Johnny was just coming out when Orlando got in the hallway. 

"Good run, Bloom?" Johnny asked running his fingers through his still wet hair. 

"It was great. How are you this morning?" Orlando asked before shutting the door to the bathroom. 

"****ty. But I think that is a feeling I am going to have to get used to. Because I am going to feel ****ty for awhile." 

Orlando sighed. "Listen go downstairs. Have your smoke. I know you must be dieing for one right about now, and we can talk when I get cleaned up." 

Johnny smiled. "You know me so well." 

Orlando shrugged. "I will be down in ten." 

Orlando shut the door and Johnny went down the stairs. He really did need a smoke. 

~~~~~ 

Lauren had taken a shower and was pulling her hair up when she decided to try and find Orlando's phone number. She went to the desk and found Johnny's address book. She laughed. Of course nothing was in alphabetical order. 

"Tim Burton. Viper Room." Lauren stopped a re read that. "Ha. I can call the Viper Room. Cool." She shook her head and continued looking. 

"Tracy Lords." If Lauren hadn't known that they were in Cry Baby together she would have been really pissed that there was a number of a porn star in his book. "Iggy Pop. Winona..." Why the heck did he still have her phone number for? But then again Johnny never got rid of anything, so his address book could date all the way back to 21 Jump Street for all she knew. 

She finally got to the end and was about to give up when a piece of paper fell out. She smiled. It was Orlando's number. She took that as sign. She grabbed her phone and sat on the couch and dialed the number. 

~~~ 

Johnny was just coming from the porch when he heard the answering machine pick up. 

"Hello.." 

Johnny froze when heard her voice. 

"It's me. Orlando. I am looking for John." 

He heard her take a deep breath. 

"I really don't know why I am calling. I just figured he might have come back over there last night." 

Johnny blinked back some tears. 

"Anyway...I just want to know that he is..safe." 

He took a step towards the phone. 

"OK. Ummm..guess your not there. I love him. Just tell him that for me." 

Just as the message ended Johnny grabbed the phone. 

"Lauren?" All he heard was the dial tone. He replaced the phone and looked up as Orlando walked in. 

"What you going to do Depp?" He asked, hearing the message as he was coming down the stairs. 

Johnny shrugged. Just as suddenly as his courage came to pick up the phone and talk to her, it left. 

"I have no idea. This roller coaster of emotions I am on has just got to stop. I know it has only been one day, but I am not used to this. Not anymore. Damn. I thought once you got a certain age this kind of stuff didn't happen anymore." 

Orlando smiled and grabbed some orange juice out of the fridge. "Depp. Heartache knows no age." 

Johnny smiled and took a glass from Orlando. "I know. I know. I just hoped that I would find the girl of my dreams and my life would be complete." 

He downed the juice and sighed. "Who knows? Lauren was the girl of my dreams, and she probably still is. I just have to get past this one little nightmare." 

Orlando wasn't going to say anything. This was Johnny's time. He needed to vent. Without the benefit of alcohol. He followed Johnny into the living room and sat on the couch. 

"I guess this would be a hell of a lot easier to take if it had been a one night stand thing. But they were together for three months. THREE MONTHS. They had a relationship. And that's what kills me. Here." He tapped his chest where his heart was. "Her heart. Her emotions were involved. It wasn't just sex. No matter what she says it was more than that. And that is what I don't think I will be able to get passed. At least not today." 

Orlando nodded. He understood that. 

"I really think I need to go back to France. I have to go get the kids anyway. Maybe I should just go back home for a little while." 

Even as he said it he began to cry. Home was where Lauren was. He even could tolerate America as long as he was with Lauren. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. Yes. Leaving for a little while may be just what he needed. Not having the constant reminder of her around. Clear his head. Maybe then he could get past what happened and take her back. 

"Bloom. Will you be really pissed if I went back to France before the Return of the King premier?" He asked, knowing that Orlando had wanted him to be there. 

"Hey man, I understand. You do what you gotta do." Orlando said patting him on the shoulder. 

Johnny picked his head up and looked at Orlando. "I have to make some arrangements." 

Orlando nodded. "Are you going to tell her?" 

Johnny smiled sadly. "I have to go home to pack. I guess I will tell her then." 

Orlando felt for his friend. It was going to get worse before it got better. This he was sure of.


	18. Chapter 18

Viggo pulled his car up in front of Elijah's house and sighed. All the blinds were shut and it looked like no one was hope. Except Elijah's car was in the driveway. He shut the car off and walked up to the door and rang the bell. No answer. Not that he really expected one. He rang again. Still nothing. 

He walked around back and as luck would have it, Elijah left his back door unlocked. Viggo walked in and set his keys on the counter in the kitchen. 

"Elijah?" He called walking to the living room. 

He walked to the bedroom and saw Elijah laying there with a pillow over his head, an empty vodka bottle on the floor and he was still fully clothed. He sat on the edge of the bed and picked up the pillow. 

"What in the hell?" Elijah yelled sitting up. 

"Morning. Or should I say afternoon sunshine." Viggo said smiling. 

Elijah focused and saw Viggo sitting next to him. "What are you doing here Vig?" 

"Orli called in reinforcements." 

Elijah nodded. He figured that Johnny was needing someone as well. He just wished Orlando didn't have to be in the middle of it. 

Viggo knew what he was thinking. "Orlando is fine. Don't worry about him. Right now you need to get up. Shower and get something to eat. 

Elijah grabbed the pillow out of Viggo's hand laid back down. "Don't want to." He mumbled from underneath the pillow. 

Viggo smiled and took the pillow back. Elijah scowled. 

"Bastard." 

"It's not a matter of wanting too. It's a matter of needing to. You have to get up. You HAVE to greet the day." 

Elijah snorted. "What I need is to go back in time and make Ren love me. Love me the way that I love her. That's what I need. " 

"No Lij. You need to think. Think about weather or not she's worth giving up living life for." 

"I know what your doing. Don't even think of comparing Ren to the whore formerly known as your wife." Elijah said getting angry. 

Viggo raised an eyebrow. "Kindly tell me the difference?" 

Elijah's head popped up and he looked at Viggo. 

"A lot." Elijah replied. 

"Name one difference?" Viggo challenged. 

Elijah was getting mad. "You don't know her. I love her and will not stand here and let you put her the same category as your ex. I won't let you do it." 

Viggo sighed. "Lij, I am not saying that she is a bad person. I am just saying that...that she at least didn't make any wise decisions. I am sure she had reasons, and I am sure those reasons are valid. At least to her. But for you to go around and not acknowledge her wrong doing in this, is for you to close your eyes to the truth." 

Elijah looked at him. "And what truth would that be?" 

"She chose Johnny." Viggo replied softly. 

Elijah's blues rimmed with tears again and Viggo's heart broke. He felt so bad for him he wanted to cry himself. 

"I need a shower." Elijah said as he stormed into the bathroom and shut the door. 

Viggo shook his head. Elijah was in worse shape then he thought. It was going to be a long night. 

~~~~~ 

Fred got off the plane and looked around. She had always wanted to come to LA. Not that these were the ideal circumstances, but she would make Bob take her sight seeing. That way she could get her mind off of things for awhile. Hopefully. 

She had made arrangements for a rental car so she went to the Hertz counter to pick it up. Soon she was on her way. She would call Bob as soon as she got within ten minutes of her house. 

~~~~~ 

Lauren cleaned up the house a little and ate a light lunch. She really wasn't hungry, but she knew she had to eat. What she really wanted to do was crawl into a ball and disappear. 

She was worried about Johnny. She was worried about Elijah. Even if she didn't love him the way he wanted her too, she did care for him. She never would have slept with him if she didn't. It only took longer to realize that it wasn't the love that she had for John. And as soon as she figured that out she ended it. 

She sat on the couch and turned the TV on. Flipping through the channels she found that TNT was showing Chocolat and she was compelled to watch it. It would be torture. She hit the off button on the remote and stood back up. 

Maybe she would go for to the. Swim a few laps. That always helped her clear her head. She ran to the bedroom grabbed her gym bag a swimsuit and went to her car. She had to get her mind off things. Somehow. 

~~~ 

"OK I got a flight out of here tomorrow night. 9PM. I called Vanessa and she said she would pick me up. I can't wait to see the kids." 

Orlando smiled. Johnny was the best father. Even though they were in different countries, he was involved in the day to day life of his kids. 

"So when are you going to go pack?" Orlando asked taking a bite of his salad. 

"Seeing as that my plane don't leave till tomorrow night..I bought myself an extra day. I don't have to go over there until in the afternoon sometime." He sighed and sat down at the table and ran his hands through his hair. "Maybe by then I will know what to say. Know what to feel." 

Orlando smiled. "Depp. I don't think one day is going to help with that." 

Johnny looked at him. "Okay. Then maybe I will calm down enough not to throttle her." 

Orlando nodded. "That I believe." 

Johnny shook his head. "I am going to go lay down. Not that I will get any sleep, but I should at least try. I am exhausted." 

"Ok. I will call you when dinner is done." 

"Thank you Bloom." 

"No prob."


	19. Chapter 19

Lauren had just pulled into the drive way when she saw someone stand up and walk off the porch. She turned the car off and grabbed her bag and headed towards the person. She stopped an dropped her bag. 

"FREEEEEEEEED" She screamed and ran towards her friend. She didn't realize just home much she needed her there till she saw her. 

They stood there hugging for a few seconds. 

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming earlier?" 

Fred laughed. "Well if you were home you would have gotten my call." 

Lauren smiled. "I took a swim." 

Fred nodded. "Did it help?" 

Lauren shrugged. "Is Johnny waiting for me in the house?" 

Fred shook her head. 

"Then it didn't help." She picked her bag up off the ground. "Now get your bags and come in the house. I need an old fashioned girls night." 

Fred laughed. "Well, that's why I am here." 

~~~~~~~ 

Viggo was sitting down on the couch when Elijah came out of the shower. 

"Vig, I'm sorry for saying those things I did earlier. I was just upset." 

Viggo smiled at his younger friend. "I know you were. Forget about it." 

Elijah sat down on the couch next to him. He laid his head back and sighed. "If only it would be that easy to forget Ren. Then maybe I can start trying to move on with my life. Seeing her tonight was a kick in the gut man. I'm telling ya." 

Viggo didn't say anything. Maybe it was best just to let Elijah do the talking. 

~~~~~ 

Johnny looked at the clock by the bed. It was 11PM. He had slept the afternoon away. Well, it wasn't really sleeping. It was more like closing his eyes. Seeing Lauren. Then picturing her with Elijah and him opening his eyes. He might have dozed on and off. 

He was afraid that having a good nights sleep was something that would be occurring way in the future. He stood up and went down stairs. He grabbed a pack of cigarets out of his bag and sat down on the front steps. 

"You Ok Depp?" 

Johnny turned to see Orlando standing behind him, hair askew and a the ugliest pair of sweat pants and T-shirt he had ever seen. Johnny actually chuckled. 

"What's so funny?" 

"Well, if I took a picture right now. AS you are and posted it on the Internet," Johnny laughed again as he saw Orlando cringe at the word Internet, "you would loose your an base so fast." 

Orlando sat down beside him. "Then it's a good thing that you don't have a camera." 

Johnny smiled and threw the butt of his cigaret on the ground and stomped it out. 

"Have you checked on Elijah?" Johnny asked without looking at Orlando. He might not want to see the younger man, but he wanted to make sure he was OK. He was just as hurt as Johnny was. 

"I called earlier. Viggo got him talking. So that's good. When Ren..Lauren..." Orlando stopped and looked at Johnny. 

"When Ren what, Orlando? There is no need to hide anything. Just tell me." 

"When Ren broke up with Elijah, he wouldn't talk about it. All he said was that he found out she had a boyfriend and it ended. I was never clear how he found out." 

Johnny nodded. "I believe she finally told him. I haven't asked for details." 

Orlando thought for a moment. "Maybe you should. Before you leave tomorrow. That way you have her side and then. You can think. And decide what to do." 

Johnny looked down at the toe of his shoe. He sighed. AS much as it was going to hurt going back into the home that he shared with Lauren, he would. And get some answers. Even if they killed him, before he left for France.


	20. Chapter 20

Lauren rolled over and stretched. Today her and Fred were going to come up with a plan. Last night they didn't discuss Elijah, Johnny or anything having to do with the mess that was formerly known as her life. Today they had planned on talking. She would tell her everything and they hopefully come up with something that would work. 

She got up put her hair back up in a ponytail. She put her pink furry slippers on and quietly made her way to the kitchen. It was only 6AM and she wanted Fred to sleep in. She started a pot of coffee and headed towards the living room when she heard the front door start to open. 

She smiled. Fred just have got up for a run. She ran to the door and finished opening it. 

"You are nuts..." She stopped dead when she saw who was on the other side. Her heart stopped. Her eyes widened and she really thought she was going to pass out.

"Lauren..." 

~~~~~~~~ 

Elijah woke up feeling better than he had the day before. At least physically. Emotionally he was shot to hell. He hopped out of bed, ignoring the chill in the room, from the air conditioning. He grabbed a T-shirt and threw it on. He made his way to the kitchen to see Viggo already up and chipper. 

Elijah shook his head. "I hate you." 

Viggo raised an eyebrow. 

"You are always so cheerful in the morning. You were like that filming Lord of the Rings. I would be up at 3:30AM get to work by 5....you would show up at 7 and I would still be in a pissy mood, while you were happy." 

Viggo shrugged. "It's a gift." 

"Gift my ass. Give me a cup of coffee." 

Viggo laughed as he poured Elijah's cup. "What is your plan for today?" 

Elijah took a sip and closed his eyes. He opened them and looked at Viggo. "I don't want any lectures, but I want to make sure that Ren is alright. I'm worried about her." 

Viggo took a big sip of coffee to keep his mouth shut. He didn't understand why Elijah was so worried about that girl. She broke his heart. He should be pissed. He should hate her. 

"OK." He said quietly. 

Elijah could tell that Viggo didn't agree with it, but as his friend he would support Elijah. 

"I was wondering if you could go over later and check on her for me?" Elijah asked quietly. 

Viggo looked at him. "Why can't you use the phone? And why do I have to do it?" 

Elijah gave a small, sorrow filled smile. "I need to see that she is ok. Someone has to see that she is ok. You need to go, because I don't think my heart could take seeing her right now. I know she is going to be upset because Johnny left. It wouldn't take much for me to break down and try to comfort her. I can't do that right now. I have some pride left." 

Viggo nodded and sighed. "OK. I will go over after lunch, if that would make you happy." 

Elijah snorted. "We both know that is not what will make me happy, but it is what I am going to have to settle for." He stood up and went to the fridge. "Omelet?" 

Viggo smiled. "Omelet." 

~~~~~ 

Johnny was frozen in place. The last thing that he expected was her to open the door. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but seeing her at that moment, in the beginning light of day, threw him off balance. God, she was beautiful. He had always thought so. From the second he had seen her coming to the bar to get a drink he had been enchanted with her. 

"Can I come in Lauren?" 

She stepped back to let him in without saying a word. He knew he should say something. She was waiting for him. 

"BOB..you had better have some..." 

Johnny looked up to see another girl coming from the guest room. 

"Well, well, well...if it isn't the prodigal boyfriend." 

Lauren closed her eyes. 'Dear god this is not going to be pretty', she thought to herself. "Fred...not now ok." She asked pleading. 

Fred looked at her. "If not now, when? He should be..." 

"Excuse me. I don't even know who you are so why in the hell are you butting your bitchy nose in something that is no concern of yours?" Johnny was pissed. Who the hell did this girl think she was? 

"!@#$...did you just call me bitchy? Mr. Ass wipe?" Fred was seeing red. 

Johnny turned his back on her and turned to Lauren. "Can we talk in private please?" 

Lauren looked from Fred to Johnny and back to Fred again. 

"Oh no you don't. Whatever you have to say to Lauren can be said in front of me." 

"I DON'T KNOW YOU..and as of right now I don't think I want too. Whatever happened between Lauren and I has to be settled between Lauren and I." 

Fred snorted. "Right that's why you ran to your little friends house. And Lauren wasn't supposed to call anyone for support?" 

Johnny paused. "OK. I will give you that. But as far as running goes. What in the hell would you do if you found out the boyfriend whom you loved more than life itself was cheating on you for three f*&^%^&g months?" He yelled in Fred's face. 

Fred peered around Johnny to look at Lauren. "Three months? You didn't tell me that you had been with Elijah for three months?" Lauren had told her it was more than a one time thing. But three months..that bordered on...a relationship. 

Lauren sniffed. "I told you there a lot more that what I could explain over the phone." 

Fred shook her head in disbelief. "I still think you should have given her a chance to explain herself." She said holding on to her stubbornness. 

Johnny was at the end of his patience. "Well maybe if you would shut the hell up I could ask for her side? Ever think that may be one of the reasons that I am here?" 

Fred backed up from the look in Johnny's eyes. "Jesus superstar, chill out. No need to take it out on me." 

"Listen princess...butt out. If Lauren wants to share with you what transpires today she can. Until then take your pretty little ass out of her until we are done." 

Johnny didn't like her. She didn't like him. But that was the least of Lauren worries right now. Her and Johnny needed to talk. 

"Fred. Please. Johnny's right. He and I need to talk about this alone." 

Fred was fuming. How dare he treat her like that! "Bastard. Hurt her and I'll.." 

"You'll what? Pick up the pieces of her broken heart like Orlando did for me?" 

Fred huffed and turned back to her room. She would leave the room. But not the house. One wrong move and she would wipe the floor with Johnny Depp's superstar ass.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONG CREDIT: It's Gonna Take A Miracle~ Wade Hayes

Johnny and Lauren stood there looking at each other. She wished that he would just take her in his arms and tell her everything was alright. Everything was forgiven. But she knew that if that was going to happen, it would be later, And it would take something extraordinary. 

_Rainbows and falling stars couldn't change  
The way things are   
Or I'd be in your arms tonight   
Wishing don't make dreams come true   
Or I'd be holding you   
I could change the past and make it right _

He wanted to just walk over to her and old her against him. Like he would have any other time they had fought. But this was different. It was going to take more than just a hug and an I'm sorry to fix this. 

Lauren sighed and sat down on the couch. "I'm sorry John." She said so quietly he almost didn't hear her. 

Johnny ran his hands through his hair and sat in the chair across from her. "Why Lauren?" He asked not letting the tears that sprang to his eyes fall. He would not let her see him cry. 

Lauren had no pride left. She would do anything. At all to prove her love to him. To make him believe that she was sorry. 

"How could you do this to us? To me?" He asked again. 

"I know I broke your heart.." She started. 

_It's gonna take a miracle  
To bring you back   
I've got to face the fact   
I broke your heart so bad this time _

Johnny gave a small laugh. "My heart. My trust. Our love." He shook his head. "Maybe this was a bad idea. I don't think I am ready to hear your reasons. Not yet anyway." He stood up and headed into their bedroom. 

He walked past the guest room and saw Lauren's friend peek her head out. He scowled at her efficiently enough to make her shut the door. He entered the room with Lauren following him. 

"Why did you come here?" Lauren asked crying. 

He turned to look at her. He reached up and brushed some of the tears away with his fingers. She closed her eyes and grabbed his hand that was against her face. She felt him jerk it away and turn back to their closet. 

"I am going back to France." 

She swayed and if she didn't sit down she might have collapsed. 

"What?" 

Johnny turned around and got concerned. All of the color drained out of her face and she looked ready to pass out any second. 

"I know...I'm sor..." He stopped. He had no reason to say 'I'm sorry.' He didn't do anything wrong. "I'm going back to France. I miss my kids. I....have to leave." 

She was breathing hard. How could he leave? "Johnny..how can work on this if you are on the other side of the world?" She was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. 

Johnny sighed. "Lauren. I am not sure I want to work on this." 

Her head popped up and she looked scared. "Johnny..I love you." 

Johnny laughed without humor. "Right. That's why you slept with Elijah for three months. Because you loved me so damn much." 

She breathed in deep. She had to explain to him. Somehow she had to let him know. She grabbed his arm and he looked down at her. 

"Please. John. Let me explain." 

He could never deny her anything. He sat on the edge of the bed and watched her pace wringing her hands. 

"I never meant for things to get as far as they had with Lij." She said not noticing Johnny cringe at the use of Elijah's nickname. She wiped some tears off with the back of her hand. 

He stood up straight and looked directly at him. "I thought you were trying to get back together with Vanessa." 

"What the f*&k? Why did you think that?" He shook his head in disbelief. How in the hell did she come up with that idea. 

"About two months after we had met I overheard a conversation with you and Vanessa. I didn't mean to listen in, but I picked up the phone in my apartment and you were on it. You were using the extension in my bedroom. I heard her saying something about how for the kids you two should start over again." She stopped and looked out the window and then turned back to Johnny. "You said you had been thinking the same thing. At that point I hung up the phone. I was hurt. But not shocked really." 

Johnny was sitting there with his mouth open and his jaw on the floor. He remembered that conversation. Lauren was right. He and Vanessa had been talking about giving it a go again. "Why didn't this shock you?" 

Lauren looked at him like duh. "Your track record with women is less than stellar. I had hoped that I was different. That I wouldn't be one of your many to talk about. Soon after you did go back to France and we only talked every couple days on the phone. I figured by that point our relationship was dieing slow death. 

She took a deep breath. Remember that weekend I took with Amber and we went to NYC?" 

Johnny nodded his head. 

"Well, that's when I met Lij. I will admit that was attracted to him. I also knew it was wrong. "Anyway," she rubbed her neck, "nothing happened for like a month. In fact. I think it was after I called you one night at your place and Vanessa answered the phone. I asked for you and she said you were in the shower. I knew then. It was over." 

Johnny stood up. "I came back. After I got some things settled. First with Vanessa and then with my house in France." 

"I know. And when I realized that, I was confused. It was entirely possible that I was falling in love with Elijah. I didn't know what to do. But as the weeks passed, I realized, I didn't love Lij. Not the way that I loved you. Still love you. When I realized that, I broke it off with him." 

She sat down on the bed next to him, but he stood up and looked down at her. 

"Why didn't you tell me about Elijah when I came back? I think I might have understood then. But not now. You still saw him after I came back. You should not have been with both of us at the same time." 

"I know. I was wrong. And have paid for it everyday since then." 

"Really? And how is that?" He asked lighting a cigaret. 

"Guilt. Loss of a friend. The thought of knowing that when this came out, how much it would hurt you. Nothing that I have imagined was as bad as the reality." She looked down at the floor. 

Johnny nodded. "I really don't know what to do with this." He ran hand through his hair again. He put his finger under her chin. "I love you Lauren. I do. Despite all of this I love. But..." He sighed. "I don't know if I can live with you. I am still going back to France. To think. I promise I will call you in a few days." 

She closed her eyes. There was nothing left for her to say. "Be careful." 

He closed his eyes and let a tear or two of fall. He leaned down and kissed her lips softly. "You too." 

He grabbed his bags and made his way out of their bedroom. She stood up and looked out the window. Watching him get ready to leave. Leave her. 

_Nothing else is gonna change your mind  
You're gone for good I believe   
It's gonna take a miracle to bring you   
Back to me _

_So I'll climb up the stairs--get down  
And say a prayer   
That's the only thing I haven't tried   
Lord knows I was wrong & if my faith   
Is strong   
I just might wake up by your side _

_It's gonna take a miracle  
To bring you back   
I've got to face the fact   
I broke your heart so bad this time   
Nothing else is gonna change your mind   
You're gone for good I believe   
It's gonna take a miracle to bring you   
Back to me _

_It's gonna take a miracle  
To bring you back   
I've got to face the fact   
I broke your heart so bad this time   
Nothing else is gonna change your mind   
You're gone for good I believe   
It's gonna take a miracle to bring you   
Back to me _

She stood there just staring out the window even after he left. She felt Fred put her hand on her shoulder. She turned and smiled at her. 

"What's the next step Bobbers?" 

Lauren shrugged. 

"I need to pray for a miracle." 

Fred smiled. "Ok. But in the meantime, when are we leaving for France?" 

"Excuse me?" 

"You are going to chase him aren't you?" 

She turned back towards the window and shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I will just have to see."


	22. Chapter 22

Fred looked at the clock over the television set. One in the afternoon and Lauren had been in bed since 11AM. After they talked for a few, with Fred DEMANDING the details that Lauren seemed to have left out, Lauren was so tired that she just wanted to crash. 

Fred let her. Now she was board. She wanted to get Lauren on a plane following Johnny but she refused to go. At least right now. Maybe she had a point. Johnny had to work stuff out in his head first. If Lauren pushed, it might do more harm than good. 

But, if it was the last thing she did, Lauren would get to France. And get Johnny back. She grabbed a beer out of the fridge and started to flip through channels. 

~~~~~ 

"Ok Lij. I'm going. I'm going." Viggo said grabbing his keys and starting towards the door. He had hoped that after Elijah had taken a nap he would have realized that maybe this was a bad idea. But Viggo had no such luck. 

"Here are the directions to her house. Please just tell her that...that I'm sorry." 

Viggo shook his head. "Lij, you.." 

"Vig. Please. No lectures. You promised. I have to deal with this my way. And right now I have to know that she is ok." 

Viggo sighed. "I know. Give me the paper." He took the directions out Elijah's hand. "I will be back in an hour." 

Elijah smiled at him. "Thank you Vig." 

"You would do the same thing for me. So, go relax. I will be back soon." 

Elijah shut the door behind him and laid his forehead on the back of it. 'Please, Ren. Just be OK' He pushed himself up off the door and laid down on the couch. 

~~~~~ 

"DAMN" Fred yelled when the doorbell rang. She was just getting into some cheesy movie on the Lifetime Movie Network and did not want to be disturbed. 

She stood up and opened the door. Her jaw hit the ground as she slammed the door shut again. 'Hell no. No way.' She shook her head and opened the door slowly, this time not opening it all the way. 

"Hello. I am looking for Ren." 

Fred swallowed and continued to stare. He was standing outside Lauren's house. 

~~~~~ 

Viggo was trying not to laugh. Seems the girl who opened the door was shocked to see him standing there. He had never had a door slammed on him before. The look on her face was precious. Somewhere between embarrassed and enthralled. 

"Miss..does a Lauren Hores live here?" 

Fred nodded. Viggo smiled and her face lit up like the fourth of July. 'So my smile makes her glow' he thought to himself. 

"Well, I am here at the behest of Elijah Wood.." 

That seemed to shake her out of her reverie. 

"Oh my god. I'm sorry. Come in." She opened the door and let him. 

~~~~ 

Fred wanted to die, The man she wanted to marry, the man she was destined to be with was standing not three feet in front of her and she froze like a teenager. 

"Lauren is taking a nap right now. It's been a rough couple of days." 

Viggo nodded. "I know what you mean. Elijah wanted me to make sure that Ren was Ok. He is really worried about her." 

Fred smiled. "That boy must be something. I figured he would be cursing her three ways to Sunday." 

"I figured as much too. But that's Elijah. Once he gives his heart to someone, he won't take it back even if the other person don't want it." 

Viggo looked down at the floor. The last thing he wanted to do was insult this girls friend. 

"Sorry." He said smiling again and enjoying her face lighting up again. 

"No need to be. You just want to protect your friend, same as I do. No harm in that. Are you thirsty?" 

He was about to say no, when he looked in her eyes and felt compelled to stay. "I would love something to drink. Thank you." 

And if he thought she was beautiful when she flustered, when she smiled it about stopped his heart. He couldn't take his eyes off of her as he watched her head into the kitchen. 

~~~~~~ 

Johnny was sitting in the plane with eyes closed trying to get some sleep. He had called to confirm with Vanessa when he would arrive and she wanted to know what was going on and why Lauren was not coming with him. 

It was going to be hard to move on or make any kind of decisions even in France because his children and his ex loved her. But it was the lesser of two evils. Working through the memories or working through it with her constantly there. 

He sighed. He had been sorely tempted to not leave and take her in his arms after she explained how she was feeling. He understood why she felt the way she did. But he just couldn't get past the fact that she had let it go on for three months. She had even said that she might have been falling in love with Elijah. 

What the hell did that mean? He shook his head. As soon as he got home he was going to do something to try and get his mind off of all of this. He needed a heavy dose of relaxation. 

~~~~~ 

"I think I will wake her up so you can talk to her yourself." 

Viggo shook his head. "No that's ok. Maybe I can come over tonight and see how she is." He suggested hoping she would jump on the chance to see him again. 

They had been talking for almost an hour and it was the best conversation he'd had in a long time. 

Fred nodded. "Sure. Then I can warn her so she is presentable. Hell, maybe this time I will be presentable. 

Viggo smiled. "I think you look wonderful." 

Her mouth dropped open in shock. "Thank you." 

Viggo stood up and headed towards the door. "See you tonight." 

Fred nodded reverting back to the state she was in when he first knocked on the door. She closed the door behind him and stood staring at it. The she screamed. 

~~~~~ 

Viggo stopped just before he got to his car and turned when he heard her scream inside the house. He laughed as he got into his car. He really couldn't wait for tonight. 

~~~~ 

Lauren sat straight up in bed when she heard the scream. The door to her bedroom flew open and Fred came in. 

"What the hell was that about?" Lauren asked still trying to calm her heart. 

"He..Vig..here...wonderful.." Fred finished landing in the nearest chair almost in hysterics. 

Lauren shook her head. "What are you talking about?" 

Fred took a deep breath. "Viggo Mortensen was here, for Elijah to see if you were ok." 

Lauren looked down. Maybe she should call him and talk to him. Her head popped when the full implication of Fred's words hit her. 

"Viggo? Here? At the same time as you?" 

Fred nodded. 

"Dear god. Is the man still alive? Standing even?" Lauren asked getting out of bed and grabbing some stuff for a shower. 

"Yes he is alive. He is coming back over tonight to check on you." 

Lauren smiled at her friend. "Let me guess? Shopping trip?" 

Fred snorted. "This is LA is it not?" 

Lauren nodded. "Okay. Let me get ready. Maybe getting out of the house for awhile will be a good thing." 

Everywhere she looked there was something of Johnny's. And that was to be expected. They had a life here. She just wondered how long it would take, before she could look at those things and not experience the pain. 

~~~~ 

Fred watched Lauren go into the bathroom. She smiled. She did want to go shopping, but really it was more for Lauren's sake, to get her out of the house, then for her own. Viggo was just a convenient excuse. A sexy, wonderful convenient excuse.


	23. Chapter 23

TWO WEEKS LATER 

"Elijah, Fred said that Lauren would love it if you came over. She had been wanting to call and talk to you. Make things right with you." 

Elijah smiled. "You seem to talk an awful lot to Fred." He laughed at how easy it came now to call the other Lauren that. It sure did save on any confusion. Even though he still called his Lauren, Ren. 

Viggo blushed. Actually blushed. This caused Elijah to laugh. 

"It's your fault. You are the one that sent me over there in the first place." Viggo told him. 

Elijah nodded. "And I am sure you will hate me for life for that now on." 

Viggo shrugged. "I'm sure I'll get over it." 

Elijah laughed. 'Well,' he thought, 'if he couldn't be happy he could be satisfied with fact that his friends would be.' 

"So will you come with me tonight?" Elijah asked winking. 

"Hell yea." Viggo replied. 

"OK." Elijah picked up his phone and sighed. This would be the first time he had dialed her number since it all ended. 

~~~~~~~ 

Lauren and Fred were just coming in the house when they both heard her machine pick up. Lauren ran to the kitchen and grabbed the phone. 

"Hey I'm here." 

She heard someone breathing on the other end. It wasn't Johnny. She knew his breathing like her own. She heard it every night in her sleep. There was only one other person it could be. She closed her eyes and prayed that she was right. 

"Lij?" 

~~~~ 

Elijah froze. Just hearing her voice sent his senses and his memories flying. Viggo looked at him and took the phone. Elijah gave it up without protest. 

"Ren? It's Viggo." 

"Is he ok?" 

He could hear the worry in Lauren's voice, and despite his earlier misgivings about her character, he really liked Lauren. 

"I think he will be. He wanted to know if we could come over tonight. He wants to talk." 

~~~~ 

Lauren sighed and smiled at Fred. "I would love that. How about after dinner? Say 8PM?" 

"8PM would work. See ya then." 

"Vig, tell Elijah thank you." 

"I will. But I think he is doing this more for himself than you." 

Lauren nodded. "I understand. Bye." She hung up the phone and looked at Fred who was waiting. 

"Well..." 

"Viggo and Elijah will be here at 8. Finally, I might be able to put on demon to rest. I think I am going to rest for a little bit." 

Fred nodded. "I need shower. And I need to find something to wear." 

Lauren shook her head and smiled. "Well you have four hours to go. Think that's enough time?" 

"Bite me." 

Lauren laughed and headed to her room. 

~~~~~~ 

Lauren was pacing back and forth in front of the door. It was ten minutes to 8 and she was a nervous wreck. 

"Bobbers. Please sit down. Your making me dizzy." 

"I just want this to work out. Losing Johnny has been the worst part of this. Losing Lij as my friend was the second worst. If I can fix this, then I can I have reason to hope that Johnny will forgive me as well. I really can't take much more of this." 

Fred nodded. If Lauren ate one meal a day it was a good thing. She was slowly killing herself and Fred didn't know what to do. 

The doorbell rang and Lauren stopped and looked at the door. 

"I will get it." Fred said getting up and opening the door. 

She smiled big when she saw Viggo first. He leaned down and kissed her cheek. She shivered and when he looked at her he winked. She smiled at him as she let him pass. 

~~~~~ 

Elijah stopped just inside the door and looked at her. "Ren." He said quietly. 

"Hi Lij. Lauren said taking a step towards him. She took a deep breath. "I think we need to talk." 

Elijah nodded. "I agree." 

Viggo and Fred look at each other. Fred shakes her head towards the kitchen and Viggo followed her. 

"I am so sorry Lij." Lauren said quietly trying not to cry. 

Elijah walked over to the couch and sat down. It felt strange being in her house after everything that had gone down. He clasped his hands if front of him and closed his eyes. 

"I just want to know why Ren? I loved..hell I still love you. Just..why?" He looked up at her with tears in his eyes. 

Lauren sat down across from him in the chair and sighed. She had planning this for months even. Now she was scared. She figured she would just tell him the same thing she told Johnny. Even if it was going to seem like she was using him. 

~~~~ 

Viggo grabbed a beer out of the fridge and sat down at the table. Fred grabbed a bottle of water. 

"Think they can get it worked out?" Fred asked. 

Viggo shrugged and took a swallow of beer. "Don't know. Lij is a better man than me that's for sure." 

She smiled as she took a sip of water. 

"You have a beautiful smile." He didn't mean to say it out loud, but every time she smiled his heart would skip a beat. 

"Thank you. Yours is wonderful too." 

"Thank you." 

They sat there is silence looking at each other for a little longer. 

"If they get this worked out, care to go out tomorrow night?" 

Her eyes widened and she blinked. "Under one condition." 

Viggo raised an eyebrow. "Yes?" 

"We don't talk about Elijah or Lauren." 

Viggo smiled. "Well. See there is a problem with that. Maybe I want to talk about Lauren." 

She scowled at him. 

He laughed. "How else am I going to get to know her?" 

She laughed when she realized he was talking about her. 

"Ok then. Tomorrow. It's all about Viggo and Lauren and NOT Elijah and Lauren." 

He reached over and grabbed her hand. He kissed the top of it and smiled at her. "Deal." 

She felt the touch of his lips through her whole body. She pulled her hand back and finished the rest of her water in ten seconds flat. 

~~~~~ 

Fred and Viggo walk into the living room an hour later to see both Lauren and Elijah crying and hugging. 

"I take it everything is going to be ok?" Fred asked sitting next to Lauren. 

Lauren wiped the tears off of her face and laughed. "At least with this. Still have one more mountain to climb but I have to do that alone." 

Elijah grabbed her hand. "Not alone. You have us." 

Lauren smiled. She was never going to take him for granted again. "Thank you Lij." She said squeezing his hand. 

The phone rang and everyone jumped. 

"Jesus we act like we have never heard a phone ring before." Fred said laughing. 

Lauren smiled. "I'll be right back." 

~~~~~~ 

Johnny had been sitting in his study all alone for the first time since he had been back home. He had the kids everyday for the last two weeks and Vanessa was on his case to get things right with Lauren as soon as possible, because she was "tired of looking at his melancholy ass." 

Damn it. He had a right to be melancholy. The kids had left an hour before and for the first time had a chance to think. He hadn't talked to her since he left LA. He knew had promised to call her, but he just couldn't bring himself too. 

He had to hear her voice. So he picked up the phone and dialed their number in LA. 

~~~~ 

"Hello?" 

"Lauren.." 

Lauren about dropped the phone. 

"John." She started to cry 

"How are you?" 

She was about to answer when Elijah came in the kitchen. 

"Ren..can I have a beer?" 

~~~~ 

Johnny blinked. He could not have heard just what he heard. 

"What the f$#k Lauren? Is he there? NOW?!?!?" Johnny was pissed beyond belief. He meant nothing to her his ass. 

~~~~~ 

Lauren panicked. "Johnny it's not what you think!" She cried in desperation. 

Elijah could tell that he had came in the wrong time. He felt like ****. He came up to her and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. She just shook it off. He dropped his hand and left the kitchen. 

~~~~ 

"The hell it's not. I have been gone what two weeks and you already need someone or something so bad that you pick back up with him. And to think I called to try and talk to you." 

He shook his head. Last time. It was the last time she was going to do this to him. 

"John please. Calm down. I know this looks bad.." 

Johnny snorted. "Looks bad? LOOKS bad? Sorry sweetheart. THIS IS bad." He couldn't listen to her lies anymore so he hung up the phone. 

Damn her to hell and back. He stood up and grabbed a bottle of whatever he could find in the bar. It hadn't been stocked in awhile because no one had been there. He made a mental note to re stock it. 

~~~~ 

She stood there with the phone in her hand. She was to shocked to move. 

"Lauren are you OK?" Fred asked removing it from her hand and hanging it up. 

"****. ****. ****." She said crying. "He heard Elijah come in here." 

"And let me guess he wouldn't let you explain?" Fred said with a roll of her eyes. 

Lauren turned to her. "Would you? I mean hello. Then man that I cheated on him with came into the kitchen. There is only so much a man can take Fred." She finished breathing hard. 

Fred bit her lip. Lauren had a point. 

"Did Lij leave?" Lauren asked. 

"Yea. But he said he would call you later." 

Lauren sighed. She had no idea what to do now. None what so ever.


	24. Chapter 24

ONE MONTH LATER 

Lauren was pacing the living room with her phone in hand trying to get Fred to calm down. Thus far all she had been able to decipher was Viggo and art show. 

"FRED..breath." 

She laughed as she heard her growl. 

"Bob...did you hear what I said?" 

"Yes. But all I could understand was Viggo and his art show." 

Lauren took her phone to get the mail. Various bills and magazines. She sighed. Still nothing from Johnny. It had been a month and she hadn't heard anything from him. She called twice and left messages but he never returned them. She didn't really expect to not after his phone call that found Elijah in her..their..kitchen. 

"I haven't talked to him three weeks and he calls me out of the blue...still not sure on how he got my number....and asked me if I wanted to join him in NYC for an art show." 

"And what did you say?" 

Lauren sat on the couch and grabbed her issue of Entertainment Weekly and started flipping through the pages. 

"Oh my god. No." She said quietly forgetting she was on the phone. 

"Bob are you ok?" 

She couldn't breath much less answer. She couldn't believe what she was looking at. There was an article in US Weekly. 

"Fred.." She said quietly starting to cry. 

"Lauren. You have to talk to me. Calm down and tell me what happened." 

~~~~ 

Fred was lost. One second she was having a serious teenage moment with her then instantly Lauren was close to hysterics. 

"Do you have the latest Entertainment Weekly?" 

Fred rolled her eyes. Must be about Johnny or Elijah. But, usually these magazine sightings didn't cause the chaos that seemed to be coming over the line. 

"Yea. Let me get it. Hold on." 

She went to her desk and grabbed her copy. "What am I looking for?" 

Lauren was sobbing. Fred figured she would know as soon as she saw it what was causing the problem. Her eyes popped out of her head when she found what was obviously the catalyst to Lauren's near breakdown. 

"****. Lauren. I.." She had no idea what to say. 

~~~~~~ 

Lauren was just re- reading the article. Looking at the pictures. Her heart was being torn in to pieces little by little as continued to read it.

**"Girls Girls Girls"**

**Not a tribute to Motley Crue as much as to Johnny Depp.**

**Seems as though old habits die hard. Or maybe they just resurface in the midst of a mid life crisis. Whatever the reason, the last month as seen a come back, as it were, in the form of Johnny Depp, circa 1990's.**

**In the last three weeks, our sources have seen Johnny with at least six different girls at at least as many clubs. Never far from his hands, his ever present cigarets, and a drink of choice.**

**Visions of his partying days, and the legions of girls who trailed after him fill the minds of those around him. Absent in all of this is his ex..Vanessa and his two children.**

**Also missing is girlfriend of the last few months, who Johnny, had told US Weekly just six weeks ago, "was the one." No one has seen nor heard about her in more than a month. Sources close to Mr. Depp have no comment at this time. Just that, Johnny needs some "him" time.**

Lauren closed the magazine. She might have been able to fluff it off as rumors and gossip, if it wasn't for the pictures. Her eyes filled with tears as she scanned the faces of the various girls that he seemed to be using to forget her.

"Fred..I think it's time to go to France." 

~~~~ 

Fred smiled. "About damn time. Don't worry about a thing. I will take care of it all. First you have to get here, so we can go together." 

"You can't go with me. You have am art show to attend." 

Fred bit her lip. Damn. Double damn. "Look. I am sure if I call him up..." she giggled.." and explain what is going on he will understand. I am not letting you go over there alone." 

~~~ 

Lauren closed her eyes and said a quick prayer of thanks for Fred. "Thank you." 

"Don't even think about it. I will call you back as soon as I can tell you what flight you are on to get out here. " 

"Ok. I guess I had better pack." 

"You do that. I will be back in touch in a few. Love ya girl." 

"Love ya too." 

She hung up the phone. She really should call Elijah and tell him where she was going. Despite Johnny's pissiness over the issue, she refused to give up the friend she had found in Elijah. she dialed his number. 

"Hello?" 

"Lij it's me." 

"Ren, what's wrong? You sound like you have been crying." 

She sighed. "Listen to this." She read him the article. "I know it's irrational to be upset. After all we aren't together anymore but..." 

"I know what you mean Ren. What are you going to do?" 

"Fred is flying me New Jersey and then I guess we are heading to France. Time I confront him and one or other find some sort of closure. I love him, but I can't go on living like this." 

She started to cry again. 

"Fred is going too?" 

She kinda laughed. "Yea. She has to call Viggo and tell him. She is making a HUGE sacrifice to go with me." 

Elijah laughed. "Ten bucks says he will somehow show up in France as well. I would love to go with you myself, but I don't think that would go over so well." 

"Ya think? But I promise to call you and let you know what's up." 

She heard him sigh. "What?" 

"Well, if it comes to the point where Johnny says it's either him or me...please don't worry about me. Just knowing your happy will be enough for me." 

Lauren let more tears fall. Elijah was to much. 

"I am hoping it don't come to that. He has to know that no matter what I love him. After all, I had no issues with Vanessa and he has kids with her." 

"Point one in your favor. Go with that argument." 

"OK I have another call coming in. It's probably Fred. I will call and let you know what's going on." 

"Bye Ren." 

"Later Lij." 

She clicked into the other call. 

"Ok Bobbers..your plane leaves in two hours, which means you should be at the airport NOW." 

"Jesus. Okay. I just gotta through some stuff in a bag. Guess I'll see you in a few hours." 

"Yup. You are on a non stop to Laguardia. First class even." 

"Fred...you didn't..." 

"I know I didn't have to. But I wanted to. Now shut up and get going." 

Lauren smiled. " Alright. I'm going. I'm going." 

"See ya in a few." 

Lauren hung up and ran into the bedroom. She grabbed a couple pairs of jeans, a few T-shirts a sweater. Various undergarments. A picture of her and Johnny, and her journal. As she went into the kitchen she grabbed the offending Entertainment Weekly and threw that into her purse. 

She paused looking at the empty house. The house that had seemed empty since Johnny left her. "God help me get him back." She let a tear slide down her cheek as she shut and locked the door.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Credit: When I Close My Eyes ~Kenny Chesney

Johnny rolled over and felt a warm body next to him. He smiled and sighed as he put his arm around her. "Lauren," he whispered into her hair. 

The body rolled over and scowled. "No. Angela." 

Johnny's eyes opened to see a red haired woman glaring down at him. He rolled to his back and groaned. His head was killing him and he felt like he had been hit by a Mack truck. Keeping his eyes covered he reached under the bed for the bottle he knew was under there. 

"A little early to start drinkin ain't it?" 

Johnny opened one eye and looked at her. "I don't give a ****, Amy." He closed his eye and took a swallow. 

"It's Angela and you've got issues." She got up out of the bed and put on the skimpy black dress she'd had on the night before. 

He never even acknowledged that she left. Issues she said. She didn't know the half of it. Maybe if had tried to talk to Lauren after he found out Elijah had been there....he stopped his train of thought. There was no excuse for it. She slept with Elijah. Then as soon as he was gone again he was back in her life. He took another long swallow of his..he looked at the bottle in his hand...he had no idea what he was drinking anymore. 

He sat up and put his feet on the floor. Waiting for the room to stop spinning. He sighed. There was one problem. He still loved her. Maybe if he had told her that, explained how he felt things would be different. 

_There's so many things  
I didn't say   
And even though   
It may be too late   
I want you to know   
I still love you so _

Then maybe she wouldn't be everywhere. In everything he did. Everywhere he looked. He stood up and took another swallow. 

_Every car I meet  
Looks like your car   
Every movie I see   
You play the leading part   
You're on my mind   
Can't leave you behind_

He hadn't started drinking during the day until even awake Lauren's memory plagued him. It had been only at night. When he tried to sleep that she would haunt him. His dreams. 

_When I close my eyes  
You're all I see   
In the dark of night   
You're in my dreams_

So he started drinking himself into oblivion every night, just to get some peace. Then one day he was walking down the street and he though he saw Lauren. That was his undoing. From then on she was everywhere. Sleeping or awake. She was there. 

_Throughout the day  
You're easy to find   
You're always there   
When I close my eyes_

 

He turned on the hot water and stepped in. The water ran down his body almost cutting through the fog in his brain cause from days of alcohol consumption. Even the fact the she was an ocean away didn't help. It just made it worse. He was always remembering the little things. Her hair when it blew in the wind. Her face just after they had made love. her laugh. It wasn't to hard to picture her in his arms again. 

_In my mind I know  
You're far away   
But here in my heart   
Nothing has changed   
I'm still holdin' you   
Like I used to _

He sighed and turned the water on even hotter. Since he was living in hell, he tried another approach to the matter. Getting drunk into oblivion to get through the days, and bring home girls at night. That was a failure too. Every time he woke up he thought Lauren was with him. 

He turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. Grabbed a swallow out of his ever present bottle and got dressed. Grabbed his bottle and headed to his study. Nothing he seemed to do could make him forget her. Awake or sleeping he was haunted. 

_When I close my eyes  
You're all I see   
In the dark of night   
You're in my dreams   
Throughout the day   
You're easy to find   
You're always there   
When I close my eyes _

_You're always there  
When I close my eyes_

He sat down and put his feet on the desk. Opened a drawer to make sure that there was a back up beverage waiting for him. He grabbed the nearest picture he had of Lauren and looked at. He ran a finger down the glass and let a tear fall. It hit the picture with small splash. He sighed and threw it across the room. "One way or the other I have got to get through this." 

He took a long swig, and laid his head back staring at the ceiling. He would get over her or die trying.


	26. Chapter 26

Lauren and Fred stepped out of the airport into the light falling mist of rain and zero sunlight. It was dreary as hell, and it was ten o'clock in the morning. 

"We need a cab." Fred said grabbing the English to French dictionary that they had purchased in at the airport before they left. "I really hate this damn country," she said looking for the word that meant taxi. 

Lauren looked at her and smiled. " I know you do. It was a great sacrifice for you to come with me. I really appreciate it." She said linking her arm through Fred's. 

"Well that figures. The French word for taxi is taxi." Fred said laughing. 

Lauren joined and said "you have to say it with an accent." 

Fred rolled her eyes and waved her hand in the air. "TAXI" 

A funky looking yellow car pulled up in front of them and they got inside. A middle aged man with a thin mustache and even thinner hair turned to them. 

"Où vous aiment aller?" 

Lauren looked at Fred. "I think he is asking us something." She whispered. 

"You think? I am going to bet that he wants to know where we want to go. So to the hotel or to Johnny's?" 

Lauren bit her lip trying not to giggle. "Since he lives several hours out of the city, maybe we should go to the hotel and then rent a car?" 

Fred scowled at her. "Was that sarcasm?" 

Lauren shrugged and took the address of their hotel out of her purse. She handed it to the taxi driver and smiled. The drive smiled back. 

"Bon, bon." 

He slowly made his way into traffic, all the while whistling a quiet tune. Lauren leaned near to Fred. 

"See not all French people are asses. He seems very nice." 

Fred just snorted and crossed her arms over her. "We have only been in this damned country ten minutes. Give it some time." 

Lauren shook her head and turned to look out the window. She was here for a specific purpose, but she was going to try and find some enjoyment out of her first trip overseas. God knows when she finally sees Johnny the enjoyment just might be over. 

~~~ 

Johnny's head popped up and he looked around. Took him a few seconds but he gathered his wits and realized he was still in his study. He had passed out right on the desk and never moved. 

"Damn woman." He said out loud. Fully believing that the hellhole his life has become was all her fault. 

He stood up and closed his eyes, willing the room to stop moving. He jumped when the phone rang. He looked around. 

"Diable!?!" He had no idea where his phone in his study had gone. He listened for it to ring again. After the forth ring he found it underneath the couch that was across the room. 

"What?" 

"Ne pensez pas même à prendre à cette tonalité avec moi Johnny. Je viendrai 2la-bas et donnerai un coup de pied votre âne de nouveau à l'Amérique.!" 

Johnny rolled his eyes. He didn't need this. Not now. 

"Vanessa what do you want? I'm busy." 

He heard her sigh on the other end. 

"Busy what? Making an ass out of yourself? Have you seen any of the articles that have been written about you in the last couple of weeks?" 

Johnny rubbed his eyes with his fingers. "No. Should I have?" 

"Mon dieu. Vous êtes si stupide, yes. You should have." 

Johnny sighed. "Is it that bad?" 

"Johnny. You need to call her. Let her explain before you kill yourself." 

"I am not going to kill myself." 

"Oh but you are. Slowly. The kids need their daddy. And I am willing to bet that Lauren needs her Johnny. Just as bad and Johnny needs his Lauren." 

"damnez-vous. " 

"What is it they say..truth hurts." 

Johnny knew about hurting. He knew it well. 

"I will call you later Vanessa. I'm fine. Really I am. Tell Jack and Lily I love them and will call them tomorrow." 

He hung up before she said anything else to him. He looked at his clock. It was only ten thirty in the morning. He grabbed a bottle of scotch out of his bar and headed up to his bedroom. He needed sleep. 

~~~~~~ 

The taxi driver opened the door for Lauren and smiled. She smiled back at him and said thank you. He turned to Fred and huffed back to his seat and drove off. 

"See..they are rude and obnoxious and.." 

"Fred..you were giving him the evil eye all the way here. You just might have to change you attitude missy or everyone here will hate you." 

Fred stormed into the hotel with Lauren laughing after her. 

"Reservations for Rucco." 

"Oui. Bienvenue, dames.. You are in room 215. Top of the stairs and to the left." 

The desk clerk handed Fred two keys and pointed to the staircase he was talking about. Fred gave him a small smile, more then she had bestowed on anyone since arriving and said thank you. 

"There are you happy now Bob? I smiled for the man." 

Lauren shook her head and went up the stairs. "Let's just get into our room. I am so tired and we need to find a rental car place. And I think I should call Vanessa and let her know I'm here." 

Fred shook her head. "Isn't it strange that you are friends with Johnny's ex?" 

Lauren shrugged. "I guess so. I never really thought about it. Johnny and Vanessa want the kids to know that their mom and dad are still friends. Their first priority has always been Jack and Lily Rose. That's why Johnny was so glad that me and the kids got along so well. Vanessa would not like anyone involved in her children's life who would cause them any stress." 

Fred looked are with a raised eyebrow. 

"One word and I'll deck you. I know. Stress level not so low at the moment. But I am willing to bet that the kids know nothing about what has happened. And hopefully they will never have to know that something awful went down." 

She said a another quick prayer that all would turn out well and waited for Fred to open the door to their room. The both sighed when they saw the two twin beds. They dropped their bags and landed with thuds on the mattresses. 

"I think I will make those calls later." Lauren said yawning. 

"I totally agree." 

Both were asleep within seconds.


	27. Chapter 27

Lauren and Fred sat up at the same time when they heard a phone ringing. Fred groaned. 

"It's mine." 

She dug it out of her purse and answered it. 

"Hello?" 

"Hey Lauren.." 

Fred looked at Lauren wide eyed and mouthed 'it's Vig'. Lauren smiled and grabbed her bag. She motioned to the bathroom, Fred nodded as she turned her attention back to the conversation. 

"Viggo..this is a surprise." Fred rolled her eyes. 'This is a surprise?' she really needed to get it together when she talked to him. She turned into a complete idiot whenever they spoke. 

She heard him laugh. "A good surprise I hope?" 

"Most definitely." 

"Good. How are things going?" 

She smiled at the concern in his voice. "The flight was good. We both crashed as soon as we got here." 

"So she hasn't talked to Johnny yet?" 

Fred laughed. "Why doesn't Elijah just call Lauren himself? Instead of sending you to do his dirty work?" 

"Hey I'm not complaining. Gave me an excuse to talk to you." 

Fred was glad that he couldn't see her jumping up and down around the room. "You don't need an excuse to call me." 

"That is good to know. I will remember that." 

Fred smiled. "Are you ready for the art show tomorrow?" She walked to the little kitchenette that was in their room and grabbed a bottle of water. 

"I guess. I think I would be more ready if you were going to be there." 

Fred spit her water out on the bed. She really had no idea what to say when he said things like that to her. 

"Cat got your tongue honey?" Viggo said quietly. 

~~~~~ 

Elijah came back into his living room to see Viggo in an animated conversation. 'Had to be Fred,' he thought. Elijah smiled at Viggo and Viggo winked back. 

"Okay. Take care of her and try and call to let Lij know how things are going." 

"Why don't he call himself?" 

Viggo laughed. 

"Yea. Somehow I don't think that would work. Just in case you know." 

"I see your point. Well, I'll have Bob call him as soon as she can." 

"He'll appreciate that. And you. You can call me anytime you want." 

"Ok. I'll remember that." 

"See that you do. Bye sweetheart." He hung up the phone before she could answer him. 

Elijah shook his head. "Your crazy." 

Viggo was absently hitting his knee with his phone. Elijah sat down next to him. 

"What is going on in that complex mind of yours Vig?" 

Viggo looked at him. "I am thinking we should go to France." 

Elijah raised an eyebrow. "We? I don't think so. You maybe. But I am not stepping foot in that country while Ren is there. No way. I may be willing to make a friendship work with her, but I am not going to put myself through being in one of the most romantic countries in the world with her, while she is trying to get back with the man she loves. I have my limits." 

He stood up and paced. No way. His heart was slowly mending, and being in France with her would set that healing process back by...by a hell of a lot. 

"Okay. I understand that. I just don't think I like the idea of my Lauren, with all those Frenchmen around." 

Elijah smiled. 

"Want to stake your claim huh?" 

"Hell yes." 

Viggo turned his phone back on and dialed. "Yea. When is you next flight to France?" 

~~~~~ 

Lauren came out of the bathroom to see Fred sitting on the bed dazed looking at her phone. 

"Earth to Fred...come in Fred!" 

She looked up at Lauren. 

"I..he...just..." 

"Okay I am thinking this is about Viggo since you seem to lose the ability to speak clearly whenever you talk to him." 

Fred scowled. 

"Ok excuse me if I am not used to one of the most wanted men in the world, calling me sweetheart and honey." 

Lauren laughed. "I know the feeling. The first time John called me sweetheart I about died in my spot." 

She sighed and sat on the bed next to her. "Guess we should get a car." 

Fred grabbed her hand a squeezed it. "I know your scared, hell I would be. But you have to do this. Either way that it turns out, you need closure." 

Lauren closed her eyes and some tears fell onto her lap. "I know. I am just so afraid that this is not going to turn out the way I want. I don't think I can go on if we don't work it out." 

Fred didn't know what to say. As much as she defended Lauren, and bad mouthed Johnny, a man really could only take so much. But she did see how Johnny looked at Lauren the last time they were together. He loves Lauren, which is why she didn't kick his ass for walking out like he did. Fred only hoped that, that love was strong enough to work through all of this. 

Lauren sat up and grabbed her purse. "I think I am going to call Vanessa first. She might have an idea on what to do. 

Fred nodded her head. "OK. Then I am going to take my turn in the bathroom. OH and call Lij as soon as you can. He is worried." 

Lauren nodded. "K. I will. Soon."


	28. Chapter 28

"Bon jour" 

Lauren smiled. "Hello..Vanessa?" 

"Lauren?" 

"Yes it's me." 

 

"It's about time you call me. I would have called you, but I didn't want you to think I was pushing you or anything." 

Lauren smiled. She was so glad that Vanessa was on her side. 

"Well, I wanted you to know that I am in France." 

"Ce qui ? Vraiment?" 

Lauren laughed a little. "I am not sure what that means. But I am going to say yes anyway." 

Vanessa laughed. "I'm sorry. I will try to remember that you don't speak French. Does Johnny know you are here?" 

"Not yet. I am planning on going to his place and surprising him." 

Vanessa sighed. 

"What?" 

"Lauren, miel. He is not the same person he was a few weeks ago. I am afraid that if you go up there you are going to be really hurt." 

Lauren blinked. "I don't think I can hurt worse than I do now. Plus, I think what I did to him when were together, is way worse than anything he is doing while we are apart." 

"You must give me your side. All Johnny said was that you cheated on him. I sense this is true, but that there is more to the story." 

Lauren sighed. "It is a very long story. I hurt him badly. It's a wonder he even thought about forgiving me, then there was a misunderstanding. A misunderstanding, that in all likely hood I would have a hard time believing if I was him." 

"Tell me. So I know how to help. If I can help. Johnny needs you. I know that much. So let me help." 

"OK. Are you sitting down?" 

~~~~~ 

"WOW" The girl next to him screamed as he rolled off of her. He closed his eyes and sighed. 

"You really are something Johnny Depp. All those rumors about you being a god in bed are not lies." 

Johnny grunted in response. A God in bed? Hardly. Otherwise he would have been able to keep his girlfriend....He stopped his train of thought. 'Damn her.' She was always creeping into his sub conscience. Would he ever be rid of her? He swore he could sleep with entire US Women Olympic basketball team and still not forget Lauren. 

He opened his eyes as he felt some hair brush across his chest. He blinked as he tried to focus. A brunette. Amy. Amber. He couldn't remember her name, but at that moment it didn't matter. What she was doing with her lips and tongue was succeeding in making him forget HIS name. He closed his eyes and let himself get lost in the feel of her mouth on him., at least for the time being he could push the thought of Lauren to the back of his mind. 

~~~~ 

"So here I am. Ready to confront him and get this settled on way or the other." 

"Oh sweetie. I am so sorry. He loves you. I know he does. He wouldn't be acting this way if he wasn't so hurt he didn't know what to do with himself." 

That brought fresh tears to Lauren's eyes. "I know. And it's killing me that I am the one that caused him this pain." 

"Well, you are here now. And you want to make it right. That's what matters. The future matters. Not the past." 

Lauren sighed. "Right. But Johnny and I are going to have to work through the past, before we can even think about a future." 

"True. Listen I have to go. But call me when you can. I will be thinking about you." 

"Thank you Vanessa." 

"You are most welcome." 

Lauren hung up the phone and sighed. Fred came out and sat beside her. "And?" 

"And we have to get a car now." 

Fred pulled a brush through her hair and grabbed a credit card out of her wallet and threw it at Lauren. 

"What's this for?" 

"Just use it and be quiet about." 

Lauren laughed and dialed the nearest rent a car place. She sighed. She was one step closer to Johnny. Good or bad.


	29. Chapter 29

"They said we can pick it up anytime we want." 

Fred smiled. "You did make sure it was a decent size car. I don't want something that they drove in Just Married. " 

Lauren laughed. "No I made sure that specified a mid size car." 

"Good." 

"So now what?" 

"Eat. I need to eat." 

Fred rolled her eyes. "Stalling much?" 

"I am not stalling. I'm..I'm...weighing my options." Lauren said raising her chin a fraction. 

"Uh huh. Right." 

"Okay well wouldn't you be a little nervous if the situations were reversed?" 

Fred thought a second. "Probably. Ok. Let's eat." 

~~~ 

"My plane leaves in an hour. It's a non stop. So I should be in France and at their hotel by 2AM." 

Elijah smiled. "You aren't even going to call and let them know you are coming?" 

Viggo shook his head. "Nope. I want to see the look on her face when she see's me at her door." 

Elijah nodded. That would be something to see. 

"You sure you don't want to come with me Lij? Be there for Lauren." 

Elijah shook his head. "Nope. If Johnny found out I was there, it would make things ten times worse. I am already afraid that the only way he will take her back is if she stops seeing me all together. Which, I think I would feel the same way." 

Viggo nodded. "Yea. But I don't think she's like that. She will fight for her friends. She will fight for him to trust as is. He will need to trust as is. If he doesn't it will eat at him and make both their lives a living hell." 

Elijah sighed. "I just hope everything works out for her." 

Viggo looked at Elijah. "Ever thought about what you would do if he didn't want her back? If she returned alone. Without him?" 

Elijah thought a second. "Fight for her. I know it would take awhile, but I would do everything in my power to make her love me." 

Viggo nodded. He knew that would be his answer. He had never seen anyone more in love that Elijah. 

~~~~~ 

Lauren and Fred decided to sleep through the night and wake up ready to take the day on. Both slightly stirred when they heard knocking sound. 

"Answer the god damn door!!" Fred yelled thinking that it was the room next to theirs. 

This time they sat up when they heard it louder. 

"Fred..I think it's our door that's being knocked on." 

Fred growled her displeasure. "It 4 in the freakin morning. What person with a death wish would be knocking on our door at 4 in the freakin morning?!?!?" 

She stomped her way to the door. "This had better be damned important!" She yelled as she opened the door. 

"I think it is sweetheart." 

Her eyes widened in shock. She did something she had never done before in her life. She passed dead out.


	30. Chapter 30

"Oh my god, Fred!!" Lauren yelled as she jumped out of bed and ran to her friend who was so passed out on the floor. 

She looked up when she heard a deep chuckle from the door. 

"Well no wonder she fainted. What are you doing here Vig?" 

Viggo smiled as he bent down and picked her up. "I came to surprise her. Guess it worked." 

Lauren laughed. "I'd say so." 

She stepped out of the way to let Viggo and Fred pass. Lauren went and sat on her bed as Viggo laid Fred on hers and gave her kiss on the forehead. She moved her head and smiled. She opened her eyes and blinked then sat bolt upright, hitting Viggo smack in the head with hers. 

"Jesus. Viggo. I'm sorry." She cried putting her hands over her face, embarrassed. 

He laughed. "No harm. Luckily my head is harder than yours." 

Fred smiled. "What are you doing here?" She sat up straighter and noticed how she was dressed. "And why didn't you warn me you were coming?" 

Viggo kissed her. He couldn't resist. "And miss all of this? I think not." 

Lauren laughed and Fred scowled at her. Lauren bit her lip. "Sorry." 

"Sure. Whatever. So you still haven't told me why your here?" She asked Viggo. 

He smiled. "Truth is. I didn't like the idea of you being here alone with all these Frenchmen." 

Her eyes widened in shock. "What?" 

"You heard me. And before you say anything else, I am beat. Long flight. I need sleep." He wiggled his eyebrows. "Mind if I share?" He said pointing to the bed. 

All Fred could do was shake her head. He picked her up again, moved the covers back and laid her down. He sat on the edge of the bed, with his back to her and removed his shoes. 

Fred looked over to Lauren. 'What am I going to do?' She mouthed. Lauren winked 'Sleep?' Fred scowled back at her. 'Bite Me'. Lauren laughed. 

"Something going on back here?" Viggo said turning around looking from girl to the other. Both of whom shook their heads. "Good." He said as he laid down and pulled Fred with him. 

Fred was trying her hardest not to start crying. She had to be imagining that she was being held in Viggo's arms. Yea. That was it. She was dreaming. She closed her eyes and sighed. They popped back open when she felt his warm breath near her ear. "Night sweetheart." 

She swallowed. "Night Viggo." 

He kissed the back of her neck and he smiled when he felt her shiver at the touch. Yes. They would have much to talk about in the morning. 

~~~~~ 

Johnny rolled over and looked at the clock. It was 9AM. Too damn early to get up. He heard a moan next to him and looked over. Ashley. He remembered her name somewhere between the bed and the chair the night before. He had to give her one thing, she sure knew how to make a man forget. 

At least temporarily. Now with faced with the harsh light of day, reality set in and his mind and heart immediately drifted to Lauren. He sat up. Soon thereafter the guilt. He shouldn't feel guilty. He was doing nothing wrong. At least that is what he kept telling himself. His heart and soul belonged to someone else. But his body he could give to whoever he damn well pleased. 

"Mind if I take a shower John." 

He whipped his head around. "Don't ever call me John." 

Ashley sat back a little, a smidgen frightened by the look in his eyes. "Ok Sorry. Mind if I take a shower Johnny?" 

He shook his head. No one ever called or calls him John except Lauren. To hear someone, someone he could care less about, call him that grated on his already frazzled nerves. He looked up to his bathroom when he heard the water running. He stood up and headed down to the kitchen. He needed sustenance. He found it in the fridge. A case of beer that Ashely had donated to his cause. 

He grabbed a bottle and opened it. He drank it in no time. He smiled without it reaching his eyes. Maybe he should join the lovely Ashley in the shower. He threw the bottle in the sink and made his way back up the stairs. 

~~~~ 

"We are going with you!" Fred said stamping her foot. 

Lauren shook her head. "Freddie. Thank you. But you should enjoy the day with Viggo." 

Viggo stood up. "Ren...she would not have any fun. She would be worried about you the whole time. Besides. You have no idea what condition Johnny is in. You might need our help." 

Lauren sighed. It was two against one. "Fine. But I go to the house myself. Alone." 

Fred looked at Viggo. He nodded. 

"Deal." 

"Ok. Good." 

Viggo smiled. "Now who is going to call Lij and tell him what the plan is?" 

Lauren smiled. "I will. I haven't talked to him in a couple days anyway." 

"Alright then. Care to join me for some cafe Miss Ruccio?" 

She smiled brightly. "I would be most honored Mr. Mortensen." 

He grabbed her hand and kissed it. They smiled at each other and headed out the door. Lauren just shook her head in the wonderment that is dreams. How some dreams just do come true. 

~~~~~ 

"OK Ren. Then call me when the first chance you get." 

"I will, Lij. I will. I promise." She said wiping the tears off of her face. "I have no idea why you have even stuck around. But I am glad you did." 

"We were friends first Ren. That is what's important. I just want you to be happy." 

"I want you to be happy to Lij.' She said quietly 

There was a longer silence than usual. 

"Lij?" 

~~~~ 

Elijah leaned his head against the headboard of his bed. He closed his eyes and sighed. Happy? Would he ever be truly happy again? 

"I'm here." 

"Are you OK?" 

He swallowed. 'Not Really. "Yea I'm fine." 

"Lij?" 

He grimaced. Ren has always been able to tell when he is lying. He obviously, didn't have those skills, but she did. 

"Listen Ren. This might be a topic we don't want to discuss. Let's just say that I am going to try my damndest to find happiness ok?" 

~~~ 

Lauren blinked as some more tears fell from her eyes. She totally ruined his life. 

"Ren..stop." 

She smiled a little. Elijah always did know what she was thinking 90 percent of the time. 

"Stop?" 

"Stop thinking that you have ruined my life." 

"I hate that." 

She heard him chuckle a little. 

"I know." 

"Ok Lij. I gotta go. Vig and Fred just got back in." 

"K. Be careful Ren." 

"I will. Bye." 

~~~ 

"Bye Ren.." Elijah heard her hang up. "Love you." He said even though she couldn't hear him. 

He hung the phone up and laid his head on his pillow. He closed his eyes and sighed as some tears formed in the corners of them. She hadn't ruined his life. His heart maybe, but not his life. With a quick prayer that everything turned out well for her, he attempted to fall asleep. 

~~~ 

Lauren stood up and turned to Fred and Viggo. 

"Ready Ren?" 

Lauren nodded. Then shook her head. Then nodded again. Fred rolled her eyes. 

"If we don't drag her out of here forcefully, she will do that all day." She walked up and grabbed her arm. "Come on. Let's go." 

Lauren sighed as she let herself be dragged out of the door. 

~~~~ 

"Jesus. He lives in a freakin CASTLE?!?! You never told me he lived in a CASTLE?" Fred yelled from the front seat of the rental car that Viggo had offered to drive. 

Lauren shrugged. "I didn't really know. He told me he had a 'substantial estate' here." 

"I'd say." Viggo said with a low whistle. 

They stopped at the gate and Lauren punched in the code that Vanessa had sent over to the hotel that morning. Lauren made a mental note to call her as soon as she got back. The wrought iron opened slowly and Viggo started to drive in. They pulled up the front door and stopped. Fred turned around to look at Lauren. 

"Ready sweetie?" 

Lauren took a deep breath. "Ready as I will ever be." 

She got out of the car made her way to the front door. She paused and willed her heart to calm down and her hands to stop shaking. She reached up and rang the doorbell. And waited.


	31. Chapter 31

Johnny has just turned the water off when Ashley popped her head in the bathroom. 

"Johnny, I think someone is knocking the front door?" 

John grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist. 

"What? Are you sure?" 

She nodded. "Listen." 

They both stopped moving and this time he heard it too. He sighed. 

"Who in the hell would be able to get in here?" 

Ashley shrugged. He snapped his fingers. 

"Vanessa." 

He ran his hands through his wet hair to remove some of the access water. 

"I'll be right back." 

Ashley smiled. "OK. I will just get dressed." 

He ran down the stairs and headed to the front door. 

~~~~ 

Fred was looking her window at Lauren standing at the front door. Hew leg was bouncing up and down with nervousness. 

"Calm down honey." Viggo whispered behind her and started rubbing her neck with his hand. "She will be alright. She's strong." 

Fred sighed and reached her hand behind her and grabbed his and squeezed it. "I know. But, she is really hurting right now. If Johnny..does or says anything.." she shrugged, "I am just worried that if this fails, she is going to go nuts." 

Viggo kissed the top of her head and put his chin on her shoulder. "But she's got you. And me. And Lij. She will be okay. We will make sure of it." 

She turned a little to look at him. 

"Thank you Vig." 

He smiled and kissed her. "Anything for you." 

Fred smiled and looked back out the window. 

~~~~ 

Johnny opened the door prepared to do battle with Vanessa and who he saw took the breath right out of him. 

"Lauren.." He said quietly. 

He never had sobered up so fast in his life. Seeing her standing on his doorstep was a miracle. He didn't think he would ever see her again, and until this moment he didn't know he wanted to. It was like the sky cleared and the sun came out when he opened the door. He didn't know what to say. 

~~~ 

Lauren swallowed. The last thing she expected was to see him open the door in nothing but a towel, dripping wet from a shower. Her mind instantly went back to times she shared those showers with him. She sighed and closed her eyes. 

"John." 

She tried a small smile at him. His eyes, that were shocked and then filled with warmth suddenly turned cold again. 

"What the hell are you doing here?" 

"I..We need to talk." 

He snorted. "About?" 

"Us. You. Me. Lij. All of it. There have been to many misunderstandings. To much hurt and confusion. We need to end this one way or the other. I can't go on living like this." 

Johnny looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "We need to end this? That's funny. I thought I ended it when I heard Elijah in your..OUR house." 

She sighed. "That was not what you think. Johnny, I hurt more than just you. Elijah was innocent in all of this. Just like you. I had..have a lot of things to fix. That is what I was doing. I needed Lij to know that I didn't mean to hurt him. That I cared about him. Still care about him, but it is you I love." 

~~~~~ 

Johnny wanted to believe her. He never wanted anything more in his life than to believe her. Looking at her standing in front of him, with tears that she was fighting not to shed, and not touching her was killing him. He had no idea how much he missed her..no that was a lie, He was living like he was because he missed every damn second of the day. 

But he refused to let her hurt him again. 

"Get off my property." 

"John.." She said pleadingly 

"I said Get. Off. My. Property." 

Before Lauren could say anything else, she saw a girl come up behind him and lay a hand on his shoulder. 

"Everything ok?" 

~~~~ 

Johnny smiled coldly at Lauren and turned his head to look at Ashley. "Everything is fine. Just an unexpected guest that I was trying get rid of." 

He kissed Ashley and turned back to Lauren. 

"As you can see. I am busy right now." 

~~~ 

'I will not break down. I will not break down.' She kept chanting that in her head. 

"Ok then." She grabbed a piece of paper out of her purse and handed it to him. He took it confused. "The hotel I am staying at. I am not going anywhere John. I love you to much to give up without a fight." 

She turned and walked back to her car. 

~~~ 

John watched the car leave and he turned back to Ashley. He looked at the paper in his hand and suddenly felt ill. He acted like a bastard. Ashley tried to put her arms around him. He stepped away from her. 

"You can get out too." 

He didn't even turn around as he grabbed a couple more beers out the fridge and made his way up to his bedroom. He took a swallow and laid face down. With a groan he let the tears that he had been fighting since he saw Lauren on his step, fall freely onto his pillow.


	32. Chapter 32

Fred turned to look at Lauren. 

"Lauren?" 

"I don't want to talk right now." She said quietly looking out the window. It was taking everything that she was not to break down. 

Fred scowled and turned back to the front of the car. She wanted to kill the bastard as soon as she saw him kiss that dark haired skank bag. She would have been out of the car in seconds if Viggo hadn't stopped her. She sighed and looked out her window. 

Viggo grabbed her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She looked at him and gave him a small smile. How she managed to snag the man of her dreams she would never know. He was as wonderful as she thought he was and then some. 

~~ 

Arriving back at their room, Lauren headed straight for the bathroom and the huge tub that was there. 

"Do you want me to go to my room for a little bit? Give you and Ren some time to talk?" Viggo asked hugging Lauren to him. 

She sniffed and looked up at him. "I think it might be best. At least for now. I will call you as soon as I talk to her." 

He smiled at her. "I will be waiting." He leaned down and kissed her. He picked his head up and kissed the tip of her nose and turned to leave. He opened the door and looked back at her. 

"You don't have any other guys in the wings do you?" He asked. 

She smiled. "Nope. Unless you count Aragorn. There are things that I have been planning on doing to him." She said laughing. 

Viggo raised an eyebrow. "Hmmm. Really? I will have to let him know that then. I am sure he would not mind in the least." Viggo said with a wink. "Call me soon." 

"I will." 

After Viggo shut the door Lauren sighed and headed to the bathroom and knocked. 

~~~ 

Lauren groaned. "Not now Fred. I just want to be alone." 

Fred opened the door. "Don't think so." She walked over and sat on the edge of the tub. "Talk." 

Lauren sighed. Then shrugged. "What is there to talk about it? He doesn't love me anymore. I killed that." 

Fred thought for a moment. "That could be true, but I highly doubt it." 

Lauren looked up at her with tears in her eyes. "Why?" 

"Because he loved you to much for it to be over this quick. He is hurting. He is obviously drunk off his ass. Daily. He needs to sober up and then he could think clearly." 

Lauren bit her lip. He did look drunk. Maybe Fred was right. "How can I do that? If I set foot back at his place I think he might kill me." 

Fred shook her head. "THAT I don't know. Think Vanessa could help?" 

Lauren nodded. "Probably. After all she has helped this much so far." 

"Good." 

Lauren laughed a little. "Fred. Go. Call Vig. You don't have to wait on me hand and foot. I am a big girl. I got myself into this mess, I should deal with the consequences myself." 

Fred smiled. "Are you sure?" 

Lauren rolled her eyes. "If you don't go I am going to kick your ass." 

Fred jumped up and smiled. "Thank you Bobbers. Your the best." 

She waved her off. "Yea yea. Whatever. Just go." 

Fred left the bathroom and Lauren shook her head. 

~~~~ 

After soaking for another half hour or so Lauren got out of the tub and grabbed her comfy sweats and T-shirt. She made a cup of tea and sat out on the balcony. Thinking. What was she going to do? Despite Fred's thoughts to the contrary, Lauren truly felt that Johnny no longer loved her. Yes, he might not love the girl or girls he was or has been with, but he hated her. 

And could she blame him? Not really. Hell, she hated herself. Maybe it was time to give it up. Cash in and try to move on. She stood up and grabbed the hotel stationary off the table and went back to her perch on the balcony. 

_**Its time to let you go; its time to say Goodbye  
No more excuses; no more tears to cry   
There's been so many changes; I was so confused   
All along you were the one; all the time I never knew. ** _

_Dear John,  
I stared out the window for a long time trying to decide what to say. It seems no matter how hard I try, everything always comes out so wrong. Even if it makes perfect sense in my head. I came here praying and hoping for a miracle, what I got was reality. I was hoping for a second chance, when I probably don't deserve one. _

_I love you. There is never a doubt in my mind of that. When my heart beats, it beats for you. You are in my soul, in every breath I take, in every laugh and smile. I'd walk the world over for you; indeed I nearly did, dropping everything to rush here. To see if you could love me again, if we could put the pieces back together again and make things like they used to be. Do you remember? Remember the night we met? Remember the way we always seemed to fit together? Do you remember what it was like when we were in love?_

_I screwed that up for us. I took the best thing that had ever been given to me and managed to distort it until I couldn't even recognize it anymore. I look in the mirror and am ashamed of what I see there. But I had hope, the hope that our love was strong enough to survive even my mindless choices. Strong enough to survive my idiotic decisions...I guess I was wrong. I can't ask you to give me what you aren't ready or willing to give. Up until I knocked on your door this afternoon I was holding strong to hope. What I saw in your eyes as you looked at me changed everything. The shame, the disappointment, the hurt. I know now, that your love for me is gone. I squandered it away on uncertainty and my own ignorant insecurities._

_**I want you to be happy; you're my best friend  
But its so hard to let you go now; all that could have been   
I'll always have the memories; she'll always have you   
Fate has a way of changing; just when you don't want it to   
Throw away the chains; Let love find a way   
Till love comes again, I'll be OK! ** _

_**Life passes so quickly, you've got to take the time  
Or you'll miss what really matters, you'll miss all the signs ** _

_**I've spent my life searching, for what was always there,  
Sometimes it will be too late, sometimes it won't be fair.   
Throw away the chains, Let love fly away   
Till love comes again, I'll be OK! ** _

_I'm leaving France. I'm turning and walking out of your life. It may break me and I may have to pick up the broken pieces, but all I really desperately want, is for you to be happy. I don't make you happy anymore, I don't make you smile and laugh, I don't make your heart soar, or your eyes bright. So I will walk away. I will find the courage and strength to move on. But know I carry a little piece of you where ever I go. You are always with me. And I will forever and eternally…love you._

_All my love,  
Lauren_

She folded the letter and put it in an envelope and sealed it. She blinked and let some tears fall onto it. It was going to hurt. And she might never be able to move on. But she had to stop living in a dream world. It was over. She had to face it. 

_**I won't give up... I won't give in...  
I can't recreate what just might have been,   
I know that my heart will find love again   
Now is the time to return....   
Throw away the chains, Let love find a way   
Till love comes again, I'll be OK!   
Can't go on forever, baby; I can't go on forever, baby...   
Can't go on forever, baby... yeah...; I'll be OK! ** _

She took the letter down to the desk. She had to before she lost the guts to do it. 

"Can you please send this out with the mail?" 

The man behind the desk nodded his head, for he was on the phone. She laid it on the desk and went back to her room. 

~~~ 

Viggo and Lauren came down the stairs laughing. 

"I just want to leave a message with the desk clerk in case Lauren asks where I am at." 

She walked over to the desk and waited for the man to get off the phone. She looked down and did a double take. She recognized that hand writing anywhere. Bob. She casually turned the envelope to see it. It was to Johnny. What was she doing? 

"May help you madame?" 

"Yes. If Miss Hores asks for us..tell her we are here." She gave him the slip of paper that had the address of a little restaurant that Viggo was taking her too. 

"I will." 

"Thank you." 

Viggo grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles. "Ready?" 

She smiled and nodded her head. "Very."


	33. Chapter 33

Fred and Viggo were walking hand in hand. 

"Earth to Lauren. Come in Lauren." Viggo said waving his hand in front of her face. 

She shook her head. "I'm sorry Vig. My mind is else where." 

He smiled. "I know. Call her. Make sure she's ok." 

She gave him a quick kiss and pulled out her cell. 

~~~~~ 

Lauren had laid down to try and get some sleep. She was drained. So when the phone rang it startled her. 

"Hello?" 

"Bobbers..are you ok?" 

Lauren sighed. "Yea. I'm alright. Why?" 

"Well...." 

"Well what Fred?" 

"When I left a message at the desk to let you know where Vig and I were going..I saw a letter for Johnny on the counter. What's going on?" 

"It's over. As soon as you want we can go back home." 

~~~~~ 

She didn't know what to say. "Are you sure?" 

"A girl can only take so much. John and I have done nothing but hurt each other for the last few months. It has to stop. For both our sakes. I just want him to be happy and I want to try and piece my life back together." 

Fred didn't believe this crock of **** for a second. Lauren did not want to move on with her life. She wanted Johnny in it. But, Fred wasn't going to argue with her over the phone when she was on a date with Viggo. In France. Maybe her and Viggo could come up with some plan. 

"If your sure Bob. I don't want you to do something that you will regret for the rest of you life." 

Fred heard her snort. "Yea. Been there done that. There isn't much more I can do that I will regret. It can only go up from here. Now, Get back to Vig and stop worrying about me." 

"Like that will ever happen. I will talk to you as soon as I get in. So don't fall into to deep a sleep." 

"Ok. Deal. Have fun." 

"Bye bye." 

She closed her phone and put it back in her purse. 

"Well?" 

"Well things aren't so good. She says she wants to give it up and go home. I think she is full of ****." 

Viggo laughed. "Okay then. What do you suggest?" 

She shrugged. "I have no idea." 

Viggo nodded. "Maybe we can come up with something over dinner." 

"Maybe." 

~~~~ 

Lauren snapped her fingers. "I got it." 

"What?" Viggo asked excited that after an hour someone finally had an idea. 

"I don't know why I didn't think of this earlier." She grabbed her phone out of her purse again. She scrolled down the list of recently dialed numbers. She had even asked Lauren is she could help. "BINGO!" She hit send. 

Viggo grabbed her arm. "What?" He was getting impatient. 

She told him to hold on a second. 

"Hello..is this Vanessa?" 

~~~~ 

"Yes it is. May I ask who's calling?" 

"Yea. I'm Fred..Lauren...I am friend of Lauren Hores. My name is also Lauren so everyone calls me Fred and her Bob..."She stopped and laughed. "Sorry. I am rambling. Let me get to the point." 

"Okay. Any friend of Lauren's is a friend of mine." 

"Good then you are going to be willing to help her and Johnny out." 

Vanessa sighed. "Things did not go well today?" 

"No they didn't and Lauren is running back to the states. She's giving up." 

"Oh mon, elle ne peut pas faire cela. " 

"Yea. Whatever you said." 

Vanessa laughed. "I am sorry. I forget that not everyone knows French. What do you have in mind?" 

"Well she wrote Johnny a letter and it is sitting at the front desk of the hotel waiting to be sent in the mail." 

"Enough. I will retrive the letter and take care of Johnny. If you get to the states before Johnny realizes his mistake, don't worry..." She paused. "You know what. Yes. Go home. That would even be better." 

"Really?" 

"Yes. That way when he reads the letter he will know she meant it. It will have more of an effect. If I know Lauren, I know what the letter says. Everything will be fine. Don't you worry." 

"Thank you so much." 

"Votre bienvenue. I will talk to you soon." 

"Good. and again thank you." 

"Your welcome. I must go and get that letter before it is posted." 

"Of course. Good bye." 

"Bye." 

Vanessa hung up the phone. She had to get that letter and then get over to Johnny's. He needed a firm kick in the âne . 

~~~~~~ 

Lauren put the phone back in her purse and looked at Viggo who was waiting patiently. 

"Sorry." 

"Everything getting taken care of?" He asked smiling. 

"Hope so. Now let's drop this for now. I would like to enjoy this. Before we have to go back home." 

"I totally agree." 

~~~~   
Vanessa walked in to the hotel and went up to the desk. 

"Est-ce que je peux vous aider? " 

"Oui. Il y a une lettre pour Johnny Depp que je me suis appelé pour reprendre et pour lui livrer. " Vanessa said, trying to sound as business like as possible. 

"Vraiment? " 

She nodded her head. The desk clerk hesitated a moment longer and then handed the letter over to her. She sighed, smiled, said thank you and headed to her car. Her next stop was Johnny's house. He had to get sobered up and quick. She put her sunglasses on and grimaced. This was going to be the most difficult part of her job. 

~~~~~ 

Johnny rolled over and stretched. He sat up and looked around. It was the first time in ages that he had woke up alone. He groaned and laid back down. Grabbed a pillow and put it over his face. He was not going to get up. Not yet anyway.   
~~~ 

Vanessa pulled to the front of the house, thankful that Johnny had never changed the codes to any of the locks. Made getting in, much easier. She stood in the doorway and thought a moment. She smiled and went into the kitchen, and into the back room where all the cleaning supplies were. She grabbed the biggest bucket she could find and headed up the stairs with it. 

She walked into Johnny's room and shook her head. He was dead to the world and snoring like a chain saw. She tiptoed past him, to the bathroom and filled the bucket with cold water. She carried back out into the bedroom.   
"One. Two. Three." She threw the whole thing of water on him and he sat up. 

"Motherf*&^%r!! What the hell?" He shook his head and saw Vanessa standing over him. "What in the hell are you doing here? I have had enough of females today," 

She grabbed the letter out her back pocket and showed it to him. "It's from Lauren. She's leaving France." 

Johnny's head popped up and he looked at her. "So?"   
"SO? So my ass. Get out of bed and come downstairs. We have to talk and you need to sober up. Your life is **** and you need Lauren." 

With that Vanessa turned out of the room and went to the kitchen. A pot of strong black coffee is what he needed to start out with. She put it on and then searched the downstairs for any mind altering spirits and dumped them down the drain. She was emptying the last bottle of rum when Johnny came to the kitchen. 

"Are you crazy woman? That is expensive rum." 

"Yes. Yes. And I am sure that your going to start asking why is the rum gone.." 

Johnny looked at her and raised an eyebrow. 

"Come now. You didn't really think that I never thought of that as I was pouring your rum down the drain?" 

He shrugged and they laughed. "Why are you here?" 

"In a word. Lauren." 

Johnny sat down on a stool and took a cup of coffee. Already the hot shower, second of the day, was clearing his head. 

"You said there was a letter?" 

Vanessa nodded and pulled it out of her pocket again. She set it front of him. 

"You don't want to lose her Johnny. I know you don't. Let yourself get a clear enough head to read that. And listen to your heart. She still loves you." She kissed his cheek and left the house. 

Johnny picked up the letter and held it in his hands. Did he really want to read it? Would it change anything if he did? He took a sip of coffee and shrugged. There was only one way to find out. He tore the envelope open and pulled out the letter.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Credit: Close To Crazy~ Reba McEntire

Johnny sat there holding the letter still folded in his hands. He really need something stronger than coffee, to get through what he was going to read. He smiled. But of course there was nothing left after Vanessa got done. 

He set the coffee down and took a deep breath. He slowly opened the letter and began to read. 

_Dear John,_

~~~ 

Viggo and Fred quietly opened the door to her hotel room and saw Lauren was fast asleep on the bed. Fred tip toed in and grabbed her bag, making sure her swimsuit was in it. The slipped out of the room undetected and headed to Viggo's room to change. 

"Are you ready yet?" Viggo said knocking on the bathroom door. 

"Cool your jets. I'm coming." 

Lauren came out of the bathroom smiling. 

Viggo looked at her and was in awe. The green of the suit that she was wearing, brought out the green in her eyes. She was simply breathtaking. 

"What?" She asked suddenly embarrassed. 

"Nothing. I suddenly don't feel like taking a swim." 

Her eyes widened in shock. 

"You don't?" 

"Nope." He said walking slowly over to her. 

She swallowed hard. She took a step back and hit the bathroom door. He stopped in front of her and looked down into her eyes. 

"You are absolutely, beautiful." 

She blushed. "Thank you. Your not so bad your self." 

He smiled and traced her cheek with his hand. She blinked. 

"Wha..what are you doing?" She asked quietly. 

He kissed her ear. "Seducing the hell out of you, I hope." He whispered. 

She closed her eyes and her head fell on his shoulder. 

"Is it working?" 

She nodded her head. She couldn't speak if she wanted to. He lifted her head up and looked at her. 

"Good." 

Then he kissed her like he was a starving man. 

~~~~ 

Johnny blinked. NOW he really needed a stiff drink. He wiped the tears away and looked at the letter. 

'She really thinks that I don't love her anymore,' he thought to himself closing his eyes. If only that were the case. He loved her so much it was driving him insane. Hell, he would be loath to say it out loud, but that was why he was acting the way he did. He was trying to forget her. Forget the past. 

_I still reach for you  
In the middle of my dreams each night   
But my arms come up empty every time   
And lately I talk to your memory   
More than I should   
If I could just forget the past I would   
Cause this missing you ain't doing me no good_

His life was hell. Utter hell without her. He picked up the letter again. He could see where there were stains from tears that fell on it. He could picture her writing it and crying. 

"DAMN" He yelled and ran his hands through his hair. She was sorry. He knew that. He knew that months ago. So why was he causing her all this pain? It was childish really. He wanted her to hurt as bad as he had. Sometimes he wished had drank himself into oblivion, then he would be none the wiser. He would have forgotten everything. Including her. The pain. All of it. 

_I'm so close to crazy  
Right on the edge   
Just one step away from going insane   
But I'm not there yet   
If I could just lose my mind   
I wouldn't know we're through   
But this close to crazy   
Is far from over you_

It had to stop. Not only did he think he was going insane, so did those around him. It wasn't even until Vanessa left that he realized he hadn't seen his kids in weeks. Everyone except Vanessa and the assorted women that he had been bringing home had left him to his own devices. 

He laughed. Even sleeping with all those people did nothing to cub the memories of Lauren. He would be having sex with them, but in his mind and heart he was making love to her. She was everywhere. 

_Today I caught myself  
Reliving how it used to be   
At a table for two just you and me   
But talking to an empty chair   
And laughing right out loud   
Turned everybody's head and left no doubt   
I'm a broken woman close to breaking down_

He needed to give it up. He was still in love with her and the only way that he was going to be happy, was to be with her. He hadn't completely lost it, so he might as well retrieve what was left of his pride and find her. 

_I'm so close to crazy  
Right on the edge   
Just one step away from going insane   
But I'm not there yet   
If I could just lose my mind   
I wouldn't know we're through   
But this close to crazy   
Is far from over you _

He stood up and tried to remember where the paper was that she handed him. 

"Where is it?" 

He ran up the stairs and looked through everything. Then took a quick look around his bedroom. 'Damn,' he thought. He needed to get the cleaning lady back and fast. But first he had to get his woman back. 

He looked down by the front door and still came up empty. He would call Vanessa. Obviously she knew where Lauren was. He smiled as he dialed his number. With any luck in a couple of days, instead of dreaming about waking up next to her, he would be able to reach out and feel her next to him. 

_I still reach for you  
In the middle of my dreams each night _

Maybe, this nightmare will be over and the dream can begin. Again.


	35. Chapter 35

Lauren rolled over when she heard the phone ring. 

"Hello?" 

"Ren? It's me Elijah." 

****. She had promised she would call him as soon as she confronted Johnny. 

"Lij.." 

"You don't sound so good, sweetie." 

She smiled at the concern in his voice. 

"Well I have had better days." She sat up and sat with her back against the head board. 

"What happened?" 

"Everything. Nothing." 

"I'm sorry Ren." 

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back. It was good to hear his voice. 

"It's over Lij. As soon as Fred get's back from wherever she is with Vig, I want to come home." 

She started to cry harder this time. 

"How can I do this Lij? How can I live without him?" 

~~~ 

Elijah took his phone and sat out on the porch of his place. How was he supposed to know? 

"I don't know. But when you figure it out let me know, would ya." 

He closed his eyes. He hadn't meant to say that. 

"I'm sorry Ren.." 

"Don't be Lij. I know I deserve everything that is coming to me." 

Elijah shook his head. "Ren..there comes a time when you have been punished enough. Either by punishing yourself or by someone else. You are dealing with **** from Johnny. You shouldn't have to take my little comments too." 

~~~~ 

Lauren still was in disbelief at how Elijah had handled all of this. She turned when her door opened and Fred walked in. 

"Listen Lij....Fred just got here. I will call you as soon as I get in. Love ya." 

"Love ya too Ren. Bye." 

She hung the phone up and looked at Fred. 

"OH my god. Lauren Patricia Ruccio. YOU..." 

Fred started to giggle. "Lauren..he..I...we..." 

She couldn't form a coherent sentence if she wanted to. 

"I'm in love." She sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at Lauren. 

"I mean. Love. Not obsessive fan girl love. But real, I can't live without him, my heart beats for him love." 

Lauren smiled. "I know that kind of love. Scary as hell ain't it?" 

All Fred could do was nod. "Especially when I don't know how he feels. What if he don't feel the same way? What if.." 

Her ramblings were stopped with Lauren's hands on hers. "Just go with your heart Freddie. Please. Trust me on this. Don't take him for granted. No matter what. Friendship. Love. All of it." 

Fred blinked and some tears fell. She moved up and hugged her friend. "I love you Bobbers." 

"Love you to." 

The pulled apart and looked at each other. 

"Now what?" 

Lauren smiled weakly. "Time to go home." 

Fred nodded. "K. Let me call Vig and tell him. Then I will get us on the next flight out of here." 

Lauren stood up and grabbed her suitcase. "Your the best." 

"Yea. Well you best never forget it either." 

Lauren smiled and threw a pillow at her. 

~~~ 

Johnny looked at his watch. Why wasn't Vanessa home? The kids should have been home from school by now. He didn't have time for this. If Lauren was planning on leaving France, it would be as soon as possible. He didn't want to miss her. 

He paced back and forth in front of his phone. He would have to be prepared for anything. He would get the next flight back to LA himself. Maybe meet her at their house. Where they belonged. 

~~~ 

Viggo had told Lauren he would make all the arrangements for their flight home. Fred smiled at him. She was sitting on the bed in his hotel room watching him pack. Their flight left in an hour. 

"You didn't have to.." 

He shut her up with a kiss. It seemed to be the only way to get her to be quiet sometimes, but that didn't bother him in the least. 

"Just say thank you." 

She smiled. 

"Thank you." 

He kissed her again. 

"Your most welcome." 

He turned away from her and grabbed some stuff out of the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror. He loved her. He actually had the thought that he might, months ago. But it was cemented tonight. He loved her and he didn't want to live without her. 

He closed his eyes and thought back to the few hours before hand. He had never in his life, felt anything, like he felt when he and Lauren had made love. Now, he couldn't get enough of her. It seemed he had to be touching her. Even if it was just holding her hand. He had to have some sort of contact. 

Yes. He had it bad. He smiled at his reflection. He even looked truly happy. Something that he hadn't seen in a long time. Now, how was he going to tell her? Did she even feel the same way? He shook his head and closed his eyes. He wasn't even going to think about that. 

His eyes popped open when he felt arms come around him from the back. Lauren. 

"What?" 

He felt her shrug. 

"I missed you." 

He pulled her around to the front of him and picked her up and put her on the sink. And looked at her. 

"Vig, you making me nervous. Why are you looking at me like that?" 

He swallowed. 

"I love you." He said quietly. 

"You what?" She asked, not believing what she heard. 

"I." He kissed her forehead. "Love." He kissed her nose. "You" He whispered as he touched her lips with his. 

She smiled against his kiss and whispered back. "I love you too." 

He hugged her and spun her around the small bathroom. He sat her down on the floor and took his things to his bag. 

"Now what?" Lauren asked. 

Viggo shrugged. "Get married?" He said without even looking up at her. He only looked up when he heard a thump. 

He walked over to where she had landed on the ground. He bent down and shook her. 

"Lauren." 

She opened her eyes and looked at him. 

"I take that as a yes?" 

She nodded and sat up. "But please. Warn me before you do things like that. This passing out thing is embarrassing." 

He laughed and pulled her up. "I think it's cute." 

He zipped up his bag and grabbed her hand. 

"Let's go get Ren and get her home." 

Lauren nodded and followed Viggo out the door.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Credit : I Don't Want To Live Without Your Love~ Chicago

Johnny hung up the phone. He smiled. Now that he had made the decision to work things out with Lauren, his heart felt lighter. Like a huge object that was preventing him from breathing was removed. 

Lauren was his life. His breath. He was slowly dieing without her. He....needed her. He loved her. Why he ever thought that he could live without her he would never know. Call it temporary insanity. Call it pride. 

He ran up to his bedroom to pack his bag. His plane left in two hours and it was just about that long of a drive to the airport. He opened his bag and noticed the picture of him and Lauren that he had subconsciously taken with him when he left. 

Next time he would just listen to his subconscious. 

_Thought it wouldn't matter  
If we didn't stay together   
And if it was over er   
Baby, it was for the better   
I was thinking I'd be all right   
'Til I thought it all through   
Now I know that I ain't really living   
If I have to live without you_

He threw some clothes in his bag and put the picture on top. 

"I'm coming back to you baby." He whispered as he ran a finger over the glass. "I love you." He smiled as he closed the bag. He couldn't live one more day without her. Hell the next few hours were going to slowly drive him nuts. He ached to hold her and tell her how much he cared. How much he loved her. How he didn't want to live without her anymore. 

_I don't wanna live without your love  
I don't wanna face the night alone   
I could never make it through my life   
If I had to make it on my own   
I don't wanna love nobody else   
I don't wanna find somebody new   
I don't wanna live without your love   
I just wanna live my life with you   
With you _

He jumped in his car as his cell phone rang. 

"Depp here." He said backing out. 

"What is going on?" 

He smiled. 

"I am going after her Vanessa." He said putting the car in drive. 

"Really? You do know that her plane left half an hour ago?" 

"I figured. I think I want to be in our home, where we belong when I grovel." 

Vanessa laughed. "Yes. Groveling is a good idea. But make sure you two talk. So much has happened. Listen to her Johnny. Listen with your heart." 

"Will do. Thank you Vanessa. For everything." 

"Call the kids when you get to LA. They have been missing you." 

He cringed. His asinine ways had caused a lot more people hurt than just Lauren. 

"As soon as everything is settled with me and Lauren, I want to have them for a bit." 

"Good idea. Just fix you and Lauren." 

"I will. Bye Vanessa." 

"Bye Johnny." 

He hit end and threw his phone on the seat next to him. It didn't strike him till just then that he never appreciated what he had until it was gone. She might have cheated on him, but things were wrong before that. They were both to blame. 

He sighed. It sucks when it takes losing someone or something for you to come around. 

_Guess I had to go away  
So much I had to go through   
Guess I had to lose you   
To realize how much I love you   
Can we make the fires burn again   
Burn a little stronger   
'Cause I've been alone, and baby   
I can't be alone any longer _

He turned the radio to some station that was playing classical music and opened his window. Yes. He loved Lauren with everything that he was. He didn't want to be without her anymore. He needed her love. He needed her touch. He just plain needed her. 

"I'm coming home sweetheart. Please. Just..forgive me." He said quietly even though no one would answer him. 

In less than twenty four hours he would be with her. He wanted no one else. Loved no one else. Needed no one else. In less than twenty four hours, he was going to be whole again. He would be with the other half of himself. 

In less than twenty four hours he would be telling her that he couldn't live without her or her love. 

_I don't wanna live without your love  
I don't wanna face the night alone   
I could never make it through my life   
If I had to make it on my own   
I don't wanna love nobody else   
I don't wanna find somebody new   
I don't wanna live without your love   
I just wanna live my life with you _

_If I had to make it on my own  
My life would never be the same   
My love would never be the same   
And I don't wanna live without your love _

_I don't wanna live without your love  
I don't wanna face the night alone (I don't wanna live)   
I could never make it through my life   
If I had to make it on my own   
I don't wanna love nobody else (Don't wanna love nobody else)   
I don't wanna find somebody new   
I don't wanna live without your love   
I just wanna live my life with you (Live my life with you)_


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Credit: Back To Your Heart~ Backstreet Boys

Viggo pulled his car into Lauren's driveway and turned it off. Instead of going home, Fred came to LA with Viggo and Lauren. Lauren shouldn't be alone, and there was no way in hell she was going to be away from Viggo anymore than she had to be. 

"Ren.." Viggo said shaking her. She had fallen asleep in the back and moved slightly from the shake. "Ren were home." 

She sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. "Already?" She was not ready to face the endless days alone. Not yet. She might have physically given up the fight, but emotionally she was still fighting it. And she would fight it everyday. 

"Want me to come in with you?" Fred asked opening the back door. 

Lauren shook her head and gave her friend a weak smile. "The sooner I get used to being alone the better." 

"Lauren. I am so sorry this didn't work out the way you wanted it too." Fred said crying and putting her arms around Lauren in a hug. 

Viggo got Lauren's bag out of the trunk and walked it to her front door, letting the two girls have some alone time. 

Lauren sniffed. "Fred...your knight awaits. You had better go." 

Fred looked at Viggo standing by the car and then back at Lauren. 

"Your sure?" 

Lauren nodded. "I want to lick my wounds in private." 

"I don't.." 

"FRED..just go. Jesus Christ." Lauren yelled laughing a little. 

Fred smiled. "Love you Bobbers." 

"Love you to Freddie." Lauren turned and looked at Viggo. "Take care of her." 

"I promise." 

Fred opened the door to his car. "Call me later?" 

Lauren raised an eyebrow. "You sure about that?" 

"Shut up. And yes. If you need anything call me. If not, I will back over in the morning and then we can think of what to do next." 

Lauren nodded even though she knew there was not going to be a next. "Alright. Bye. See ya tomorrow." 

She stood there watching the car leave and sighed, turning and walking slowly up to the house. She picked up the bag, and unlocked the door. She set her bag down on the couch and went to the machine to check her messages. She was still clinging to a small piece of hope that Johnny would have a change of heart. 

"YOU HAVE TWO NEW MESSAGES" 

BEEP 

"Upgrade.." 

She hit erase. 

BEEP 

"Ren..it's me Lij. I wasn't sure when you were getting in, but I have to be to a script reading so call my cell when you get in. Love ya." 

Lauren smiled. Sweet. Caring Elijah. 

BEEP 

"END OF MESSAGES" 

She grabbed the phone and went upstairs. She laid down on the bed and closed her eyes. What was she going to do? 

She had nothing. Nothing without Johnny. Even her hope was dwindling. If she just knew what to say or do to win him back. She would do anything. She knew it was all her fault. Everything. If she had just been honest with him about her feelings. She was stupid and she was a fool. 

 

_it's not that I can't live without you  
It's just that I don't even want to try   
Every night I dream about you   
Ever since the day we said goodbye   
If I wasn't such a fool   
Right now I'd be holding you   
There's nothin' that I wouldn't do   
Baby if I only knew _

 

She turned on her side and the tears fell onto the pillow under her. His pillow. If she closed her eyes she could still catch a small whiff of his scent. She hugged the pillow tighter wishing it was him. If only..She had to stop, The if only's were going to kill her. Still. She just wished she knew what to say or do to get him back. She had tried everything. 

_The words to say  
The road to take   
To find a way back to your heart   
What can I do   
To get to you   
And find a way back to your heart _

She opened her eyes and saw a picture on the nightstand next to the bed. Johnny was smiling and his chin was on her shoulder. She picked it up and looked at. She could see the love in his eyes. How could she have not seen it before? Because she was scared. She never looked. She just assumed that she was going to be one of the girls on his long list of girls. She never took the time to really find out if she was different. If he loved her. 

And he did. She believed him when he told her all those months before. She closed her eyes and moved to her back, placing the picture face down on her chest. Having his love, was like having the sun shining all the time. It was breathtaking. It was her lifeblood. 

_I don't know how it got so crazy  
But I'll do anything to set things right   
'Cause your love is so amazing   
Baby you're the best thing in my life   
Let me prove my love is real   
And made you feel the way I feel   
I promise I would give the world   
If only you would tell me girl_

She grabbed the phone that she had laid next to her. Maybe she should try one more time? She had nothing to lose. She dialed the number for his cell. His voice mail picked up. 

"John...I have no idea if you even...god..I don't even know what to say. Sorry. This was a bad idea." She hit end as she sobbed. 

What was she going to say to him anyway? She had said everything in the letter. She had done everything she could to let him know that she still loved him. 

_The words to say  
The road to take   
To find a way back to your heart   
What can I do   
To get to you   
And find a way back to your heart _

She sat up and grabbed the phone again. All she wanted was another chance. That was all. Was that so much to ask? 

_Give me one more chance, to give my love to you  
'Cause no one on this earth loves you like I do,   
tell me >_

_She dialed his number one more time. The voice mail picked up after the second ring._

_"John. It's me again." She sighed. She closed her eyes and some tears fell down her cheeks. She sniffed and began talking again. " I love you. All I want is another chance. Please. I promise this is the last time I will call you. Just remember I love you. Forever. And would do anything to have you back with me. Goodbye John."_

__The words to say  
The road to take   
To find a way back to your heart   
What can I do   
To get to you   
And find a way back to your heart _ _

__I turn back time  
To make you mine   
And find a way back to your heart   
I beg and plead   
Fall to my knees   
To find a way back to your heart _ _

_She threw the phone on the bed, grabbed a comforter from the foot of the bed and curled up under it. She needed to sleep. Maybe if god was willing she could just fall asleep forever and not have to worry about any of this anymore._


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Credit: Let's Make Tonight Special~Westlife

Johnny ran out of the airport and up to the rental car desk. He didn't care what kind of car they had, he would take it. 

"Mr. Depp. If you will wait over there, I will have someone check the lot and see what is available." 

"Thank you." He smiled at the clerk behind the desk. He walked over to the yellow and black chairs and sat down. 

Two more hours. That was all. Two more hours. He pulled out his cell and turned it back on. He looked at it confused. He had to two voice mails. 

He put in the code to listen to them. The first one came on and he almost dropped it on the floor. It was Lauren and she sounded so...so....distraught. He blinked back tears as he heard the sob that followed the goodbye. 

"Oh baby. I'm so sorry." He said as he checked the second one. 

He smiled at Lauren's tear filled voice. She still loved him. He knew that of course. But knowing that she had said it less than an hour beforehand gave him a great sense of relief. He toyed with the idea of calling her and telling her that he was on his way, but he didn't have a clue what to say. Besides, they needed to talk face to face. 

He needed to touch her. To know that she was real and forgiving him. 

~~~~ 

Johnny pulled the rented Honda into the driveway and sat there looking up at their bedroom. The room where Lauren was probably in. Hurting. Crying her self to sleep. 

HE got out of the car and didn't even get his bag. He had more important things to worry about. He quietly unlocked the door and walked in the house. 

He was immediately assaulted with the sights and smells of his life. The life that he almost lost. The life he wanted back. 

He was about to go up the stairs when the phone rang. He waited and it rang again. After the third ring he went for the phone on the desk. 

At the same time he heard Lauren pick it up too. 

"Hello?" 

She sounded like she had been crying for months. Hell, she probably did. God knows that was his state for the last few months. 

"Ren?" 

His hand stiffened on the phone. Elijah. 

"Lij? I was going to call you later. I really don't feel like talking right now." 

"I figured. Vig just called me and he told me that you weren't doing so good. Has he called or anything?" 

Johnny's hand relaxed a tad bit on the phone. He knew he should hang up but something was preventing him. 

"No. But I called him. Twice. Left voice mail. The first one was not so good. The second one I was a little more coherent." 

"I just wanted to make sure you were OK. Vig and Fred are worried about you. Viggo wouldn't let her call you. So I decided to. To relieve my anxiety and let her know how you are." 

"Thank you Lij." 

"You know I would do anything for you." 

Johnny scowled and bit his lip. 'Bet he would.' 

"Well what I want I don't think you can do. Plus I would be a bigger ass than I already am if I asked you." 

"You are not an ass Ren. Mistaken. Imperfect. Confused. Human. But not an ass. If anyone has been an ass it's Johnny. Yes he had a right..has a right to be pissed beyond humanly possible, but he should also let you explain. He shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I love you. Yes. But you love him. I know this. He needs to know this." 

Johnny almost dropped the phone. He did have to give Elijah high marks for being a bigger man than he is. When he and Lauren talked. Some things were going to have to change. Her relationship, however platonic with Elijah, would have to be minimized. It might be unfair of him but right now, he couldn't handle it. 

"I know, Lij. I know. But it was I who messed up. Listen, tell Fred that I am fine. I am too tired to talk anymore." 

"OK. Call me tomorrow. Let me know how you are Ok?" 

"Yea. Lij. I will. Promise." 

John heard the phone click and then he hung up his end. 'Damn.' He really wanted to hate Elijah, but he couldn't. He paced back and forth at the end of the steps. He stopped and looked up. If he went up there with an ultimatum about Elijah, he wouldn't get anywhere. Still, he needed time on that count. 

It took a big man to let the man that the woman you loved cheated on you with, be her friend. A very big man. Elijah seemed to be that type of man. Johnny wasn't sure if he was. 

He took a deep breath. They would cross that bridge when they came to it. Right now, the important thing was him and Lauren. 

~~~ 

Johnny walked into their bedroom and stopped. The breath taken right out if his chest. Lauren was curled up on the bed with her hair falling all around her. He could see the tears that she was shedding in her sleep, rolling down her cheek. 

He had never seen anything more beautiful in his life. He walked quietly over to her and got on his knees on the floor so he could be level with her. Just to look at her for a few minutes. 

He reached up and lightly moved the hair out of her eyes and she moved a little. He picked his hand up hoping she wouldn't wake all the way up. 

He laid his head on the bed next to hers, with their faces inches apart. "I love you." He whispered as his eyes drifted close and he fell asleep. 

~~~~ 

Lauren moved and felt her hand hit something. She opened her eyes and shook her head. She closed them and opened them again. It wasn't a dream. He was there. His face, his body, was right there next to hers. 

Her eye's widened as his opened and she was pinned in his gaze. Neither had moved from their positions on the bed. He was still kneeling on the floor and she still had her hands tucked under her head. 

"Hey baby." John whispered softly. 

"John." 

Both were afraid to move, for fear that one or the other was a figment of their imagination. 

~~~ 

Johnny had thought of two options when they woke up. One was to talk things out. The other. Was to make love to her. He ached to touch her. For her to touch him. He needed her. In every way. 

"I love you." He told her not even knowing that was going to come out of his mouth. 

She sobbed and covered her mouth with her hand. He blinked back tears and got up on the bed. he pulled her to a sitting position and put his arms around her and held her as she cried. 

He rocked her back and forth. 

"Honey. Your going to make yourself sick if you don't calm down." He laid his cheek on the top of her head and let his tears fall. 

His heart was pounding. Holding her again was something akin to heave. At that moment he determined to make the night special. To make everything right. 

_I'll give the world to make you mine_  
'Cause I can't go on without you this time  
What are you doing tonight baby?  
Lets make tonight special  
All I'm asking for is a little word 

He lifted his head. 

"Lauren." He whispered. 

She looked up at him. He leaned down and kissed her softly. He pulled back and looked in her eyes. Everything that he was feeling, was in his eyes. His pain. His love. His need. All of it. And her eyes answered in like. 

_I look in your eyes_  
(And) baby i see  
You are the only one i ever need  
Right from the start you were  
There in my heart and soul 

"I love you John." 

He smiled down at her. 

"I know baby. I know." He leaned down and kissed her again. "I love you too." 

She smiled. "Now what?" 

He grinned that mischievous grin of his and she knew what he was thinking. "Whatever we want." 

"Shouldn't we talk first? John..." 

He stopped her in the middle of her thought when he kissed her cheek and then her ear. He whispered. "Talk later." 

_Cause baby tonight_  
we'll make it right  
we'll light some candlelight  
make it all right  
cause I can't go on without you this time..(this time) 

She wanted to melt right into his touch, but they needed to talk. They had to talk. As much as she wanted this, they had to set things right before anything else. 

"Johnny." She said a little more forcefully. 

He stopped then and looked at her. "Lauren.." 

She put a finger on his lips to quiet him. "Don't be thinking I don't want to do this, because I do. I want you John. I always have." 

She sighed. "But we do need to talk." 

Johnny bit his lip. He knew that. He did. But they had done so much talking in the last few months and it had only made things worse. 

"Baby, I know." He put is forehead on hers. "But...I don't want to talk tonight. I just want to feel. I want to feel us becoming one again. We need this tonight Lauren. We need to stop talking and start feeling. We need to forget about everyone and everything else." 

He sat up a little straighter and ran his hands through his hair. 

"I need to make love to you Lauren. I...just need you." 

_So lets make tonight special_  
Something beautiful that  
We'll always treasure  
Lets make tonight so right  
We will make it a night to remember  
All our lives 

She sat there looking at him. He acted like he was a dieing man. She knew how he felt. She had been slowly dieing without him. And as soon as she opened her eyes and saw him next to her, her heart began to beat. She began to live again. 

Maybe he was right. She reached out and put a hand on his cheek. He put his hand on her heart and smiled. She put her hand on his. 

"There beating in time." 

"They always did." 

She bit her lip. He was right. They did need tonight. They needed it like they needed food and air. She leaned forward and kissed him. 

"Make love to me John." 

He closed his eyes and groaned as he pulled her to him. 

"Thought you would never ask." 

_Baby tonight_  
I hold you tight  
We will be close by the fireside  
Baby I know  
So strong, baby strong  
The stars shine so bright  
The moon and the sky  
With you means more than life  
Since i met you  
My heart has been true to you 


End file.
